Monday, July 20, 2015

Watch Me Make Metaphors About Kale

I am over at the Pedestrian Palate today sharing my thoughts about and one and only recipe for kale. If you sleep with a bunch of this plant based fiberglass insulation under your pillow, you may not want to hop over.  If you are on the fence or deeply attitudinal about kale, then this is your jam - The Bandwagon Can Bite Me

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

When the Blogging Guilt Gets Real

Hello there.  It's me, your old pal Diary and though I have been away for a while, I hope you will forgive my recent spate of blog neglect.  Oh the pain. The guilt. The shame.

Blogging and I have had a very stormy relationship.  He wants me to spill my guts on the regular, but being the busy and easily distractible sort that I am, I often gravitate to the nearest shiny object and leave poor little bloggie to fend for himself.  This leaves me to ask myself "what kind of blogmother  am I anyway?". My blog is starving over here and I am busy drinking too much wine in the East Village. So much neglect, it's like a bad made for TV movie from the 70's and I am the Meridith Baxter Birney character. Worse yet, perhaps I am Linda Purl.

So, the question that I now need to ask myself is "Can I repent?" More importantly, do I want to? It's a tough question because do I want to have a blog or do I want my blog to have me?  Should it be calling all the shots?  Demanding a certain amount of posting per month?   Expecting me to mine for readers from a rapidly diminishing pool?

I think not.

I have often wondered whether there was value in keeping this thing going. I think it is time for me to accept the fact that blogging is merely a momentary brain dump meant to provide temporary mental relief and hopefully, if anyone actually reads it, some modicum of entertainment to others.  It's pretty clear to me that I never had any great blogging aspirations.  I didn't envision myself as a Pioneer Woman or geez, I am so out of touch with blogging, I can't think of another uber-famous blogger to site, but you know what I mean.

All of this self examination stems from a strange and wonderful event that happened to me this week.  I was sitting in the office, working on my resume because it may be the only thing in my life that has suffered more neglect than my blog. My daughter came into the room and uttered five little words that made my sphincter seize..."I was reading your blog...".  I suppose I panicked because very few people I know read my blog.  It's kind of a private thing..but anyway...I braced for the impact.  "You have a very distinctive voice and your prose (yes, she talks this way at 16, she is too smart for my own good) is very contemporary. You should write a book." Full disclosure, she said this after she complained about me outing her as a hypochondriac and obsessed with shows about women that kill.

I didn't know how to process the compliment other than to question why she read my blog and to offer a faint and confused thank you. But after I had a little time to mull it over, I realized that I have to keep this blog going. I have to write, even if it is only every six months because she revealed the kernel of value that I had been questioning.  I may be a neglectful blogmother, but as an actual mother, to come to the realization that my blogging might have value to my children, well, I can't neglect that.

This one's for you, Soph and if I didn't say it loud enough, THANK YOU!

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Roman Holiday

I'm over here, talking Rome and the sweetness of doing nothing.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Think Happy Thoughts

The first weeks of school have passed for both my newly minted High Schooler and her newly minted College student brother.  On a drama scale of 1-10, the weeks have  passed with a 5.5, which around these parts is barely a tremor.  We have been known to wrestle the kracken and come out the other side with few marks and the kracken's lunch money. The first week of Jr HS definitely fell into the kracken category.

Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been a total cake walk.  There were flat tires, tough auditions, unpleasantness at the college book store, crushes on other people's significant others and one truancy call for a study hall skipped in favor of hot pancakes (Can't throw stones on this one. Been there, ate the short stack). For the most part, these were easy tests for us parents.

What is really unique about this school year, is that it is starting off with a little bit of positive feedback.  In prior years, school started with a litany of complaints and spiraled downward from there.  I'm not saying my kids were pessimistic and neurotic, but the only image that is coming into my head is Alvy Singer from Annie Hall.  As a matter of fact, my daughter tends to be somewhat dark, hypochondriacal and a conspiracy theorist. Her obsession with shows about women who kill had made me seriously consider blocking the Investigation Discovery channel and don't even get me started on WebMD.  Unfortunately, most cyber-nanny programs don't have a filter to prevent googling suspected diseases and pictures of skin maladies.

My son on the other hand, has had 12 years of teachers that could only be classified (by his measure) as morons.  That is when he wasn't classifying them as irrational, demanding, nonsensical and irrelevant.  Most often, this was in response to them expecting him to do his homework and pay attention in class. Idiots! 

This year though, I have been told the following pieces of good news, that I can only devour like the positivity starved parent that I am:

- I love my English teacher Ms. Smith.  She's just like Ms. Jones, but crazier.
- I like having time gaps in my schedule so that I can nap in my car instead of the classroom.
- The salad bar at the high school is dank (Paradoxically, in the world of teenagers, this term is good)
- I like that we don't have to worry about all that hand raising nonsense.  If you have an answer, you
  just call it out.

That may not sound like amazing news to you, but I take my good news where I can get it.  And every day that they go off to school without incident I say a silent word of thanks and wish for it to continue through the school year.  Every positive day in class that keeps my daughter from asking me to home school her or put her in a convent is a good day.  And to think, there are only 7 more years of this roller coaster for us.  By then, I will be able to get my carny license and run away to join the circus.