Saturday, March 14, 2009

Drumroll Please. . .

So here it is. The new and very much improved bathroom. It has taken a total of two full months to complete the job but it was worth the wait. So now that we have the benefit of hindsight, let's play a round of what have we learned. I'll start -

1. We learned that every last spec of Funkette influence is out of this bathroom. I believe the pictures above are a big Funk U to them. I had asked myself whether it would really feel good to divest ourselves of all their leavings or if I was just being childish. Well, spank my bottom and send me to bed without dinner because I feel GREAT!

2. We learned that dogs yearn for people. Every time I say "Where's Kenny?" to Brownie, the tail of destruction goes thump, thump, thump. Sometimes, if I am laying in bed petting her, depending on the angle, it goes thump, thump, thump in my grill. Thanks for the head trauma, pal.

3. I learned that a man is only as happy as the the quality of toilet that he rests his backside on. Dave was lost without his power flush and you would have thought he won the lottery when Kenny put it back in.

4. We learned that I have rightfully earned the title "Interior Dictator". This was proven out as Dave and Kenny stood in Home Depot staring down at a defective sink only to look at each other and declare "I'm not bringing that home, make her come here and look at it first." I guess they figured that I would fire poison death rays out of my eyes and reduce them to smoldering piles of ash if they had brought this disaster home. Good choice. Gooooood choice.

5. We learned that with enough water, time and Funkette, wood can be converted from a solid to a liquid.

6. We learned that after one moment of weakness in allowing our daughter to shower in what I have defined as a "Child Free Zone" (Hey, I know it sounds harsh, but it's one of 11 rooms. Grow a set.) that she will harras us constantly to use it again. Be strong woman Be strong.

7. I learned that as long as that shower is working, I will be late for work every day. Shower time has doubled, maybe tripled for Dave and I. It is so relaxing and everything is clean and actually works. I used to speed shower in order to get of the Motel Six box of heinousness. I guess we are making up for lost showering.

8. We learned that if you sit Kenny in front of a set of drums, he can play anything. No exaggeration . . .anything. Some of the best band practice that Joey had was just jamming with Kenny or my brother-in-law Ralph on the drums. I guess Kenny will have to bang on pots and pans as he moves on to his next remodel. However, he is welcome to come play drums whenever he likes.
9. Lastly and probably most importantly, we learned that the impossible can happen. I was pretty sure that the Funkettized bathroom was going to be around for a long time, so when Dave told be that he looked into remodeling the bathroom, I almost didn't believe him. And while I know that we pushed the limits of the budget further than he was comfortable with, I truly believe that he is as happy with the result. I think that he would also agree that we got a whole lot for the money, including fun and companionship and great stories to last a lifetime of family get togethers.

So now that the deed is done (minus a frameless glass shower door upgrade to come later), the big question for me is, what is the fate of this blog? Truth be told, I have loved writing it and the process of (gently) poking fun at ourselves and our lives. I don't expect my memory to improve as I age, so I think I have to keep it around as I need the record. Topics will change and come and go, but the general tone will stay the same. This is me kids. Like it or not. Look out PTA harpies, lazy sales help and sunday drivers, the Interior Dictator is gunning for you and she has a platform. Oh yeah, her eyes shoot poison death rays too!

6 Your comments, banter and witty repartee:

minivanmoma said...

Ok, so I love the little shelf in the shower for leg shaving, or should I say TOE SHAVING for Dave!!!

Kenny said you didn't mention the closet! Show pics!

DG said...

Good point. The closet rocks, but I want to pretty up the hallway before I post those pictures. We have been living in a state of build displacement (one that I am sure you are familiar with) and my hope was to put my bedroom back together and pretty it up this weekend. Work is preventing me from doing that though. It's coming soon!

rachael said...

I saw your bathroom on rate my space and followed it here to your blog, which is great and honest! My husband and I are "planning" on re-doing our bathroom and liked your ideas. Is this bathroom your master bath or just a general bath? Thanks for the inspiration, Rachael

DG said...

Rachel. Thanks for the feedback. The bathroom is our master bath within our bedroom. It is supposed to be our place of sanctuary, but the kids think otherwise. I'm trying to keep it that way ;)

I also wanted to let you know that I checked out your blog and your jewlery rocks! I hope others will take a look. Cool stuff.

Anonymous said...

You're bathroom is FANTASTIC! Can you tell me what color the blue is that you painted the walls? That is exactly the color I want for my bathroom! I'm not a blogger, & haven't done much w/ viewing people's blogs, so I don't know how this all works. So...if you wouldn't mind, can you just email me the paint color? THANKS!

somebody said...


Post a Comment

Sarcastic Remarks?
Write 'em here: