Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday of this week I am doing time on the campus of a large NY State University for a Project Management "boot camp" type of course. College campuses are a frightening and alien thing to me, as most of my college credits were earned via night school or virtual classroom. Glorious results of a misspent youth, I guess. Having never lived on a college campus, I find every visit to be extremely daunting.
I started my morning unable to decipher the building map sufficiently to locate the engineering building. Luckily a kindhearted froshie took pity on me and walked me over to the building. How humiliating is that?
Being that this university is literally around the block from where I live, I decided to go home for lunch. This turned out to be an ill advised move as I was given 45 minutes and it was a 10 minute walk to the car (each way) and a 5 minute drive (each way), leaving 15 minutes for parking garage ticketing/paying, lunch prep, eating and digestion. Hadn't this Project Management class taught me anything about the importance of planning?
Around 12:00 noon I pulled into the driveway next to the passenger side of Dave's car. As I got out of my car, a scratch on his front passenger door caught my eye. Its shape was a little abstract, but on closer inspection, it was clearly a penis. Now, I guess a normal wife would adopt an air of concern and gingerly alert her spouse to the unfortunate damage to his car. NOT ME! I burst into uncontrollable laughter, laughing and shrieking as I ran up the walk and into the door. My unexpected presence and loud entry scared the crap out of Dave and he yelled down, "What's the matter?". I could barely get the words out. At this point, I was laughing so hard that I was gasping for air. I managed to blurt out "Someone scratched a penis into the side of your car!" As you can imagine, he did not meet my level of glee upon hearing this news.
He was visibly upset by the thought of the damage, but after he inspected the car he seemed somewhat relieved. I guess he was expecting something of more epic proportions and anatomical correctness. That's men for you, always thinking its bigger than it is.
I will return to class tomorrow with the improved confidence that comes with knowing where the hell you're going. Dave will be probably be going to Pep Boys to get something to rub that penis out. Hey, that's not what I meant. You know what I mean. Aw, forget it.