Friday, May 22, 2009

Go on, Give Yourself Props (if you roll like Carrot Top, that is)

I was going through my special "items to keep" folder on e-mail and I came across a poem that I wrote about myself on the eve of my 44th birthday last year. I was waxing poetic about the joys of middle age and the ravages of time (mostly the ravages of time) and, as my birthday month is fast approaching, I would like to dust this little ditty off and issue an assignment to those bold enough to take it. . . . .

Whether shameless self-tribute, scathing life review or full on roast, write a ditty about yourself. Go ahead, feel free to use the comments. We've got plenty.

Good lord have mercy that gal is old
She looks a fright truth be told
Who put the crows feet on her eyes
And cellulite on butt and thighs
She's got the gout and it's been said
she wears a wig upon her head
She's crusty, cranky, toothless too
Her skin's as smooth as an old brown shoe
She's an aged craggy work of art
Forgotten all that made her smart
Used to rock to 80's tunes
Now her skin is wrinkled prunes
But don't feel sorry for her lameness
*She once gawked at Martin Chambers

DG out - (all **43 years of her)

* A little context here . This poem was written to friends immediately after telling them the story of how I almost knocked the Pretender's drummer off his feet while hastily shuffling down a NY street. It was one of my very limited number of brushes with fame. My friend Vin, he's another story. All he has to do is leave the house and someone famous crosses his path.

** This was true at this time last year (sigh)


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