Saturday, May 30, 2009

Yard Work Begets Tidy Shrubbery and a Good Laugh


Can I tell you how much I effing hate yard work? I hate it with the fire of a thousand suns, with a passion, with cream and sugar, with a cherry on top. I effing HATE it. However, it is a necessary evil. While most folks are paying a landscaper to cut and trim and shape their vegetation, we are spending that money on double guitar lessons, theater camp, karate, black-belt club (yes there is such a thing) and generally having a life. The trade off for all of this awesomeness? We mow our own lawn.

Problem with this approach is that we are so busy with all the other things, that the yard work takes a backity-backity-back seat. Before their (almost) annual trimming this morning, all of our shrubs resembled Albert Einstein's hair. It was soul-cleansing to finally reign them in, but not without some blood, sweat and tears. Blood, in the form of many sticks from the sticker bushes that I trimmed. Sweat from the toil of trimming 23 (yes, 23) shrubs in the morning sun. Tears, because I am a lazy baby and it seemed like it would never end. The tears were actually more of the incessant whining that I did, to no one in particular than myself. The happy part of this story is that between Dave and I, we've got the work about 90% done today. Weed, mow, plant, mulch, dig, move, rake, we did it all. And we are beat! So the million dollar question is, when will the other 10% get done? Tomorrow? Next weekend? Maybe never? Smart money is on maybe never, cause that's how we roll, but I can be thankful for the 90%.

So, what was my reward (and this was a truly great reward) for all of this hard work today? I came in the house and checked my blog statistics (for those of you google bloggers, you'll recognize this as googleanalytics) and looked at the keyword searches that brought new traffic to the site. I was bent over with laughter when I saw that someone found my site through searching for "Andrew Zimmern Naked Pics". If you held a gun to my head, I never would have imagined that anyone would run that search or, even less likely, find my site as a result of that look up. Best Dave and I can figure is that those four words exist somewhere within my blog postings, though I can assure you, not together.

Naked Zimmern seeker, whoever you are, thank you for the laugh and I am terribly sorry that I could not deliver the goods on that keyword search. Furthermore, I am curious to know if you did ever find the grail you seek. I'm not here to judge. Like they say, "there's a lid for every pot". Your pot just happens to be slightly obtuse.

6 Your comments, banter and witty repartee:

KimberLeigh said...

That's pretty funny. I can assure you that it's not me - at least you can't prove that its me.

peewee said...

ick! yardwork!?!?!? Not in my vocabulary. That's why I live in the cement city where I don't have to pay gardeners, I can just wave at them as they prune the trees in the park.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Yeah, that is one of the drawbacks of the 'burbs. Yard work goes against all of my deeply rooted sloth tendencies, but shrubs that look like sputnik are strong motivators.

musingwoman said...

I had no idea who Andrew Zimmern was so I looked him up on google images and figured he must be a chef or something because there was food in almost every pic...which explains why I've never heard of him, 'cause I avoid cooking like you avoid yard work.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Yeah. He's about food, but what makes the whole naked picture thing evern weirder than just the fact that someone wants a vacation snap of his nakedness, is that he is all about eating crazy stuff. Bugs, intestines, goat balls (aplologies to NGIP, if you happen to stop by), aphids, grubs, fish eyes, chicken feet and so on. Stuff that does not stir the appetite of any kind.

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