Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Taking a Walk is Not Equal to Streetwalking


I don't know how to say this gently. so I'll just blurt it out - my sister in law thinks I'm a hooker. There, I said it and I feel better about it. It's all just a misunderstanding, but one that kinda has me has me reeling. I will try to explain . . .




It all goes back to the first week of June when we decided to have a big BBQ for my son's 13th birthday. It is customary in our house for me to handle ALL the arrangements, but for some strange reason, hubby decided to create the Evite. Evites are online invitations that you send out by e-mail. Anyway, he sends out the invite and adds my e-mail to the list separately, just so that I could view the invitation. But since I am already part of his head count, I declined. Being that I had just written this post about spending Memorial Day in the city watching hookers and sailors during fleet week, I made the following (tongue in cheek) reply: "Diaryofamadbathroom cannot attend as she will be returning to NYC to find straggler sailors left over from Fleet Week". You get it, right? A joke to be sure. Not to my sister in law.




This past weekend my husband gets an e-mail from his sister asking the following - "Was that a joke or is DG really not going to be home this weekend for the party?". When he read the e-mail to me, we shared an uncomfortable giggle about it. On the one hand, it was hysterically funny, but on the other hand, WTF?




I have never felt like my husband' s family get my sense of humor. When I sit around a table with my family, we laugh like idiots, but I don't think I have ever so much as gotten a giggle out of them. It's like their sarcasm receptors are broken. And let's face it, if the audience doesn't get sarcasm, then my material goes over like a lead balloon. So now I have to flop sweat through this one and explain the joke. You know that once you have to explain the joke, it's no longer funny.


The party is this weekend and I am torn about how to handle it. I can either put on some spandex and clear heels, park a couple of big rigs in the driveway and disappear from the grill every 20 minutes or so -OR- I can take the high road. Hmmmm. It's a tough decision. I could really use the money.

18 Your comments, banter and witty repartee:

KimberLeigh said...

How would you like to be addressed from now on? Ms. Hooker? Mrs. Hooker? Just plain old Hooker?

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

I prefer Pirate Hooker. Argh!

Isabel Princes said...

Sarcasm is a refined art form that is lost on the lame-os.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

So is hookin ;).

Haley said...

I suggest that you throw this at your Sister in Law. Tell her that you scored a big party of out of town businessmen and you could sure use her help. Tell her she doesn't really need to do anything but lie there and if things just happen to get out of hand - your husband will break in and dispense some justice. Then pick up a gold pimp cup and a cane for your husband to walk around the party with. Post pictures so we can all enjoy!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

I love that idea. I'm off to Pimps R us!

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

have you considered fishnet stockings?!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

No, but I am sure that they will complete my look beautifully!

Lin said...

Sigh. Don't you hate people with no sense of humor?? I guess you need to respond "Oh, sorry, I was KIDDING! I'll be there, but be sure to add an extra seat for my new found "friend" that I met at the Fleet Week celebration". I hate family.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Lcukily, I am certain that she is not being malicious, which is why there is no real offense here. It's funnier than it is anything else. I am thinking she's not tuning into what she is reading. She clearly didn't get it. Either way, Dave and I are gonna turn out like it's the player's ball. I'm just dying for my neighbors to hate me more than they already do. Pimp cups up!

Westcoast Weirdo said...

Mine thought I was a drug dealer & went and told the whole family. Cuz I was skinnier than her. *rolls eyes*

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Hookin and pushin, hookin and pushin. How's a girl supposed to find time to do the laundry?

Mare said...

OH GOD! Say nothing, act casual, and have Dave give ya a bunch of Hickies before the party!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Great idea Mare. Can I have my pimp-daddy turn you out or is Whitey's pimp hand strong enough to keep you in his stable?

Angelika said...

I would totally do the hooker thing...

Natashya said...

I'd say tart it up but since it's your son's b-day.. maybe not!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Angelica - You're hired. Wear something short and tight.

Natashya - You've got a point, since there will be fifteen 13 year old boys in attendence, the hooker "uniform" could be problematic.

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