Diary Grew THAT? Get The Smelling Salts! I Feel Faint!

For the past few blog installments, I have tested you, fair readers with a three part series (1, 2, 3) . Each part in the series was pretty long, and for those of you that hung in with it, I salute you AND I thank you. So what is your reward for being such good readers and patient souls?

A flower!

Ok, look, it's not just a flower, it's some kind of exotic, multi-leveled petal monstrosity. And if you knew just what a shitty gardener I am, then you'd be all "DG you're so awesome for growing this hardy, Forrest Gump coulda planted it, Lily!" .

To say that I have a brown thumb is -

a) Kinda gross, because it could indicate some sort of deviant hobby.

b) A ridiculous understatement.

I can't grow plants because they require care. I don't have a lot of that to spare, so my plants tend to go un-watered, un-fertilized and un-alive.

I have accepted that gardening is simply not one of my gifts. I have made peace with it. Really, I have. That is until I go to my friend Mare's house. When I go there, my remedial gardening skills nag at me like a hemorrhoid. Every square inch of Mare's backyard is landscaped to perfection. When she sees that a plant isn't thriving in a particular area, she moves it, fertilizes it and reads it English poetry until it is the most remarkably flourishing collection of chlorophyll on the planet. She is such a talented chick!

As a fourth of July gift to all of you non-gardeners out there, I am going to refer you to a site where you can buy lilies like the one you see above and then some. It's called Flourishing Daylilies. This lady lives to breed lilies (I don't understand it, but I don't hate on her. She has a hobby and she's damned good at it) and every plant that I have gotten from her has been a smashing success, despite my utter indifference toward its care. Check it out! Good luck and happy 4th!