What is with this nation's obsession with poo food? It seems that you can't turn on the television these days without some product or other claiming to make your morning constitutional -
2) Smooth as Silk
3) Guaranteed on time and on budget with a side of mental well being
What happened to the good old days when poo was a secret thing that ladies upheld the image of NEVER DOING? As my friend Dennis once said - "She may do it, but in my mind doves carry it away." Somehow I actually find that image MORE disturbing than his Mrs actually dropping anchor, but whatever. Nowadays we women trumpet the fact that we've got one on deck or we lament our lack of regularity in public forums.
When I was in my late teens and early twenties, there was no one hotter than Jamie Lee Curtis. He brief nude scene in Trading Places had all of my male friends completely horned up and may have been the real reason for that movie's popularity (sorry Eddie, you were great, but JLC's boobage was spectacular). Now JLC, Halloween scream queen and 80's sex symbol is the poster child for middle-aged constipation. WTF people? Every time I watch TV I am assaulted by her Activia commercials or by the blissed-out faces of Dulcolax users swinging in hammocks or by the poo-producing results of Benefiber or Sunsweet Prunes or Fiber One Cereal or Fiber Plus Bars or Craptastic Taffy or whatever. It's a shitstorm of poo food.
Well you can call me old-fashioned because I refuse to share with anyone the where, why and how of my personal habits. As a matter of fact, to this day I maintain that I never go. But I have a cage full of doves at the ready, just in case.