Friday, July 31, 2009

One. Singular Sensation

So I recently told y'all that that I am going to a Miley Cyrus concert and explained, in detail my whole thought process behind concert behavior. Well, let's just say that cosmic forces are clearly reading my blog. It's good to know they're literate and all, but this is ridiculous.

Last night I went to my daughter's end of season show for the theater camp that she attends. They put on a Broadway review complete with 20 fully costumed and choreographed musical numbers plus one comedy skit. It's nothing short of amazing that they get 140 kids ready for this show in just one month's time.

There was no air conditioning in the auditorium at the Jr High where the show is held. And, being that it is July on Long Island it is almost guaranteed that the shows will to fall on the hottest most humid nights of the year. Last night's show was the closing night's performance, so the house was packed with parents, grandparents, friends and siblings. Needless to say, it was HOT up in that bitch. I felt terrible for the kids that were performing as they had the added burden of hot lights, tons of makeup and layers of costumes.

We sat down and to watch the show and things went really well for the first act. There was a nice middle-aged couple sitting to the right of us who fanned themselves with battery operated portable fans. I was getting some of their air movement, so I was thankful, but something strange happened after intermission.

As soon as the curtain raised on Act 2, this wholesome looking mom-type sitting to my right, became a crazed wooooo girl. I don't know if that's when the Ecstasy kicked in or what, but this woman got possessed. It was like she was trying to break the sound barrier, because I'm pretty sure I heard a sonic boom. Turns out that sound was just my eardrum popping. I swear to you, my right ear is sore. And she didn't just woooooo for speed and volume, she wooooood for distance. She wooooooood until the theater went dark.

So thanks universe, you have managed to once again tangle me up in my underwear. Punishing me for my wicked words is very cute, but I warn you - I have a set of lungs like no other and when I bust out my wooooooo I'm sure to be wrecking shit. So batten down your hatches and put that bitch Mother Nature on notice because I am about to let out a forrest clearing wooooo and you universe, are going to have some cleaning up to do.

8 Your comments, banter and witty repartee:

JStantonChandler said...

There is (almost) nothing worse than being at a performance and having someone screaming in your ear! The worst would be the drunk fans at a Dave Matthews Band concert who continually stand in front of you, step on your sunglasses and act like you're invisible until you politely nudge them with your elbow and tell them they make a better door than a window.

linlah said...

I knew it was in there somewhere, let your inner wooooo out.

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

Nothing bugs me more than when people go to a real live show and act like they're at a soccer match. Even school performances get out of hand. Have some class, people.

Anyway, found you through NGIP. Great stuff!

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

Just checked out your Yankee Stadium posts. I am a lifelong Yankee fan, grew up in Jersey but now live in SoCal.

I'm have a Thurman Munson tribute going up on Sunday, you might want to check it out at...

Aria said...

Sic 'em lady... of course, me being... well, me I would have wolf whistled dead up in that bitch's ear... but ya know, I'm all rude and shit.

Amy said...

What a pyscho!! It's a school play lady not the grateful dead back in the day!
Dude! What's up with heat??? We're melting down here in La. Must be all that global warming mr. Gore was blabbing about.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

JS - I have a feeling that you are a true lady and handle these things with grace and diginity. I need to take a lesson.

Linlah - All I can say is "duck and cover".

Chris - Very happy that you stopped in. I will most definitely check your Munson post and will send my hubby to view as well.

Aria - I have mad respect for someone that squares off to a bitch like that. I wish I could.

Amy - Let me tell you, though far north, Long Island gets a Florida/Louisiana style summer in July and August. Hot. Humid. Icky-sticky. We probably get relief from it sooner than you do though. I have to say, my favorite visit to New Orleans was at Christmas time. It was comfy and (almost)cool.

somebody said...


Post a Comment

Sarcastic Remarks?
Write 'em here: