Tuesday, September 15, 2009

100th Post Spectacular - You're Gonna Need Protection

We here at Diary of a Mad Bathroom have reached an important milestone - our 100th post. And when I say "we" we all know, it's just little old me. This milestone is important because I never imagined that I would ever get to anywhere near 100 posts. I have an attention span (and sense of humor) that has more in common with a nine year old boy than a woman of advancing years, so I am not apt to stick to anything. There was no way for me to predict that I would love, no, crave like a Wall Street crack whore in a down economy, the process of blogging.

So to commemorate this event, I want to give away something that is emblematic of the neurotic life that you read about here at Diary. As you may have guessed by now, I am more than a little nutty and I have some phobias. One of my weirdest is a phobia of touching raw meat. This phobia is in diametric opposition to my love of cooking and my natural carnivorous cravings. Because of these opposing drives, I have resorted to wearing vinyl gloves every time I touch a chicken cutlet or roll a meatball. As such, I go through more vinyl gloves than the staff gyno at the chicken ranch. It has become a matter of practicality for me to buy them in bulk quantities from a restaurant supply house.

Part of my weirdness with meat is fear of cross contamination and the other part of it is just the cold and slimy feel of it. And because I feel so strongly about food safety (for reals here, no joke), I want to give away a 100 count box of my favorite vinyl gloves to a lucky(?) reader along with a special surprise treat to be revealed after the winner is selected. Strange, I know but it's rooted in love and concern and my family will tell you that I truly live by these things. Like I always say - "No glove, no (pork rib) love."

To be in the running for the strangest give-away ever conceived of, all you have to do is comment or write me an e-mail (SUBJECT: Glove Love) with your suggestions for my blog. Tell me your likes, dislikes and thoughts for improvement. I am considering making some changes, but I don't want to change anything that ain't broke. I am looking for all feedback as long as it is respectful and constructive. I reserve the right to disqualify trolls and a-holes (at my sole discretion) and I will have to exclude my my friends and family because that just wouldn't look good. Besides they all get boxes of vinyl gloves under the Christmas tree.

To select a winner, I will put all entries in a hat and have a disinterested third party (probably my husband) pull the name of the winner. I will contact you via e-mail if you win, so please make sure that if you enter via comments, that I can link back to your blog to get your contact information. If you don't have a blog with contact info, please enter via e-mail at diaryofamadbathroom@gmail.com with the subject of "100th Post Glove Love".

The contest end date and time is 9:00 PM EST, Sunday, September 20th. Good luck and may you touch lots of meat as a result. Hey you, don't do it! You know that you are having a Beavis and Butthead reaction to that last line. You know that's not what I meant . . . though, what you do with your gloves is entirely up to you. We don't judge.
Just cause Aunt Becky said so - wmode="transparent">

22 Your comments, banter and witty repartee:

kyslp said...

I enjoy your blog. I'm a newbie so I don't really have any sage advice or suggestions. BTW, my mother wears vinyl when cooking meat, too. She buys them in bulk at Costco or Sam's Club.

peewee said...

DO NOT CHANGE ANYTHING....I am laughing/crying....craughing, if you will, at "a woman of advancing years," and the crack whore wall street thing....HAHAHAHHAHAHAA!

I love this blog more than life itself!

But, being that I don't eat meat, don't let me rob some OTHER carnivore of the benefit of "protection" I'm gracious like that. However, if I DO win, then how 'bout some candy?? eh? eh?

hokgardner said...

I'm lousy with suggestion - perhaps because I spend my whole day suggesting to my daughters that they clean up their room or to my son that jumping off bookshelves is a bad idea.

I loathe touching raw meat and chicken, so I often avoid cooking all together, much to my husband's frustration. His suggestion to me is that I get over myself and just cook some damn dinner already.

Maybe gloves is the way to go.

And I'm having a giveaway, too.

linlah said...

Um, no gloves thank you and now I'll channel some other suggestor (yeah that's right suggestor) and say you're thinking new background and header. Right? I'm right, right? Just don't put your blog on private. I've lost three blogs I read this week to "privates" and I'm not talking parts. If I were I would need those gloves.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Kyslp - You are entered and your feedback and ideas are welcome whether you are a newbie or not.

Pee Wee - You are entered and if you win I can be swayed to go candy. I am very happy that you enjoy the blog. I am thinking about cosmetic changes and trying to make sure that I am posting at a reasonable frequency. If you have any thoughts on that, I'd love to hear them.

Hokgardner- You are entered. I know what it is to correct children all day. It's the repetition that gets you crazy. If you think of anything, please feel free to pass it along.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Linlah - You are entered (whether you want the gloves or not). I am indeed thinking cosmetic changes and I'll never go private. That wouldn't be any fun.

Lin said...

First, congratulations on your 100th post! That in itself is very cool. Yea!

Second--I like the blog the way it is. If it is cosmetic, I'd say add some pictures of Spike (the hotness monster) and his sidekick dog friend--I can't get enough of them. :)

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...


Thanks for the good wishes. I am super psyched about the fact that I hit 100. I will probably put more pics of the kitty and his doggy pal in the future, but they mostly lay around and look at each other lazily. How do you get Hobbes to do all that cool stuff? Spike would sooner throw a roll of toilet paper at me than play with it for my amusement and photo op.

Haley said...

Leave the meat out on the table and I'll take care of it for you - no gloves required here!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Haley - You are entered girl. You'll burn through the gloves in no time, considering that you will be using them 4 at a time.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Lin- I forgot to say that you are entered! Woo hoo!

Amy said...

Ohhh! I love this!!

I totally share your contempt for all things meat...well at least handling the stuff. (Wow, there really is no way to talk about this without sounding dirty is there?)

As for my suggestions, critisms, meaningless dribble...I really have none.

Your blog is the best kind. Witty, enjoyable, and charming all wrapped up in one. I look forward to your new posts.

I guess the only thing I would suggest is maybe a picture? I respect your privacy and understand about the internet pervys running rampant, but would love to put a face with all this entertaining writing:)

Aunt Becky said...

Your blog needs more cowbell. And more odes to me.

knittergran said...

This is my first time here, so I'm not entering, but I use gloves too!!!! But I didn't know you could buy cheaper disposable ones, so I use the heavier kind you buy to do cleaning with liquids. And I wash them really, really well after the meatballs are finished...shudder...
Anyway, I would just love to know where you buy the disposable kind!

Wendi said...

I think your blog needs more beauty shots of ham.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Amy - You are entered! OK, so here's the reason behind the whole 'no picture' thing. No, I do not fear internet pervs, I am middle aged, no one is looking for me. I choose to blog-anon so that I can crap on the heads of neighbors, PTA be-otches and coworkers that do wrong by me in complete anonymity. And I am in an internet-related field, so many of my coworkers are cybernerds that comb the blogs on a regular basis. Just being careful. It's passive-aggressive, I know. But SOOOOO much fun!

Aunt Becky - You are entered! How's this for pro-active? I am putting the cowbell in right NOW! And you know I think you're awesome (I said so right here - http://diaryofamadbathroom.blogspot.com/2009/08/somebody-out-there-thinks-im-cool.html ) I am whipping up an ode to you as we speak.

Knittergran - You are entered! You don't have to be a veteran visitor, just a commenter to this post to enter. Happy to have you here. My fave gloves come from AceMart Restaurant supply, but I am hearing that Costco has them too.

Wendi- You are entered! I laughed myself silly on that one. Girl, I do love me some glazed pork product. You can't go wrong with a shiny hunk of meat. Wanna see my bacon? I can rock the shit out of some bacon - http://diaryofamadbathroom.blogspot.com/2009/04/what-i-ate-for-easter-breakfast.html

Buggys said...

I have just discovered your blog and I love it already! Don't change, although cosmetic changes are always fun. Wow, 100 posts is really exciting. I will definately be back regularly.

Tina T said...

I just discover your blog at the Duck Wheel and String Cocktail Hour post, so I thought I'd stop by and say "hi." I don't mind touching raw meat, but I know lots of people that can't stand it.

My big, strange dislike is the smell of fried food. It may not sound like a big deal, but when we lived down South it made it hard to walk into almost any restaurant without my stomach turning.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Buggys - Welcome! Happy to have you here. You are entered in my vinyl glove blogtacular!

Tina T - Welcome, pull up a chair and stay for a while. I promise not to fry anything. You are also entered in the vinyl glove blogtacular!

lovenotestoself said...

Any post that has cowbell and an ode to Aunt Becky as well written as yours is a post I can get into. I'm sorry I wasn't able to enter the contest, but I will pass your site to a good friend who has a weird thing with handling meat just like you. She will be so relieved to find her soulmate.

Also, I hate to burst your bubble, but my blog is the least read on the internet, so you're going to have to stop this libel here and now. I don't want to have to get into a blogging catfight with you on this.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Love Notes - Happy to have you here, but I respectfully suggest that I have the least read blog on the internet. We can Ro-Sham-Bo or arm wrestle for it, if you like, but I have the stats to back this up.

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