We here at Diary of a Mad Bathroom have reached an important milestone - our 100th post. And when I say "we" we all know, it's just little old me. This milestone is important because I never imagined that I would ever get to anywhere near 100 posts. I have an attention span (and sense of humor) that has more in common with a nine year old boy than a woman of advancing years, so I am not apt to stick to anything. There was no way for me to predict that I would love, no, crave like a Wall Street crack whore in a down economy, the process of blogging.
So to commemorate this event, I want to give away something that is emblematic of the neurotic life that you read about here at Diary. As you may have guessed by now, I am more than a little nutty and I have some phobias. One of my weirdest is a phobia of touching raw meat. This phobia is in diametric opposition to my love of cooking and my natural carnivorous cravings. Because of these opposing drives, I have resorted to wearing vinyl gloves every time I touch a chicken cutlet or roll a meatball. As such, I go through more vinyl gloves than the staff gyno at the chicken ranch. It has become a matter of practicality for me to buy them in bulk quantities from a restaurant supply house.
Part of my weirdness with meat is fear of cross contamination and the other part of it is just the cold and slimy feel of it. And because I feel so strongly about food safety (for reals here, no joke), I want to give away a 100 count box of my favorite vinyl gloves to a lucky(?) reader along with a special surprise treat to be revealed after the winner is selected. Strange, I know but it's rooted in love and concern and my family will tell you that I truly live by these things. Like I always say - "No glove, no (pork rib) love."
To be in the running for the strangest give-away ever conceived of, all you have to do is comment or write me an e-mail (SUBJECT: Glove Love) with your suggestions for my blog. Tell me your likes, dislikes and thoughts for improvement. I am considering making some changes, but I don't want to change anything that ain't broke. I am looking for all feedback as long as it is respectful and constructive. I reserve the right to disqualify trolls and a-holes (at my sole discretion) and I will have to exclude my my friends and family because that just wouldn't look good. Besides they all get boxes of vinyl gloves under the Christmas tree.
To select a winner, I will put all entries in a hat and have a disinterested third party (probably my husband) pull the name of the winner. I will contact you via e-mail if you win, so please make sure that if you enter via comments, that I can link back to your blog to get your contact information. If you don't have a blog with contact info, please enter via e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject of "100th Post Glove Love".
The contest end date and time is 9:00 PM EST, Sunday, September 20th. Good luck and may you touch lots of meat as a result. Hey you, don't do it! You know that you are having a Beavis and Butthead reaction to that last line. You know that's not what I meant . . . though, what you do with your gloves is entirely up to you. We don't judge.
Just cause Aunt Becky said so -