First of all, Brownie the Wonder Dog, (formerly) the most perfect dog in the universe has begun acting out in some very strange ways. To start with, she peed on the dining room rug yesterday morning. WTF? She is almost five years old and has been housebroken for most of that time. What brought this on? We spent the entire day with enzymatic cleaning fluid and the steam cleaner trying to get the rug pee-free. I can't for the life of me imagine why she decided that my oriental rug is the same as that yellow patch of grass in the back yard but I will not tolerate it. I am not above putting diapers on a bitch, I have done it before (Emma the schizophrenic beagle, you who I'm talking about).
Sunday, September 13, 2009
"No. This is not my guilty look. I look like this all the time. Really. I'm totes serious."
It was back to school week around these parts and I must say, it did my heart and mind a lot of good. After a summer of camp, loafing, bickering and road trips (and bickering on road trips), my children needed some direction and structure back in their week. However, it does not appear that all of the residents of our home are adjusting as well as I am.
Later that evening I had my brother, sister-in-law and nephew over for dinner. In celebration of the cooler weather and my willingness to keep the oven on ALL DAY, I made roast beef and a home made apple pie and both turned out pretty well. Sometime during the dinner, Brownie stretched her long basset body up on to the counter and swiped the uncut half of the roast that was sitting on the cutting board. It was a total ninja move as we never saw or heard a thing. Then after everyone left and we went to bed, she snuck into the dining room and polished off the remaining half an apple pie. The only way that she could have done this would be to get ON the table. I got up this morning, anticipating a slice of homemade goodness and I found the pie plate had been licked clean. Brownie is generally a very lazy dog and she has bad hips, so she will normally only steal what she can easily reach. It required what I can only describe as a gymnastic prowess and determination to reach these two items. I wish I had been in the dining room to witness her dismount.
Then this morning my husband opened the door to find what looked like an exploded tribble on my doorstep. Spike the Hotness Monster had torn some poor creature apart in a most brutal and grizzly manner. He normally keeps his kills to small mice and the occasional bird, but this thing had heft. There were tufts of gray/brown fur all over the front step and the fat and happy hunter was nowhere to be found. After viewing his handiwork, I assume that he is passed out in a food coma under his favorite shrub.
I can't help but wonder if their off behavior is a reaction to the suddenly empty house. Having the kids home and figthing with each other has become their version of normal for the past few months. Or maybe they sense some other disturbance in the force. They say that animals act strangely when an earthquake or other natural disaster is coming. Being that I live on an island, I'm wondering if I should shutter off the house and have my blow up raft at the ready.
But not even this collection of uncharacteristic and inconvenient behavior can steal my happiness over the dawning of a new school year. However, if they do it again, I am putting both their asses on Craigs List under the title "Pets or Meat" *
* Don't get all PETA on me. It was a joke.