A couple of nights ago I took my daughter and two of her friends to see Miley Cyrus in concert. We were lucky enough to have floor seats, so that lent some additional excitement to the event. For the girls that is. For me it was a sea of annoyance and concern.
First off, let's talk about the mothers. Help me baby Jesus if I did not see some ridiculously inappropriate looks on these women. The sequined newsboy hats, the false eyelashes and the the over-smoked eyes looked painfully desperate and costume-ish. I understand that they are trying to fit in, but by doing that, they stood out like a priest at Flashdancers.
Then there was the middle aged guy who came by himself. That just screams shady late night uncle. His whole look was very 'I still live with my mother and dry catskins in her shed' . I tried hard to steer the girls away from where he was sitting. My least favorite of all were the clueless parents that didn't seem to realize that they were at the event with 15,000 other people. It's great that they brought their adorable, curly headed moppets to see the show, but as soon as you put that adorable curly headed moppet on your shoulders, she becomes a globe-headed, stage blocking pain in the ass.
Then of course there was Miley herself. Who chose to use this tour to assert her sexuality in a series of hotpants and bustiers. There was nothing wrong with these costumes per se, I just think that some of the moms of younger girls were twitching with each crotch-busting costume change. It looked like poor Miley had to pick wedgies all night. One thing that I will say for the girl is that she sang every note. It was easy to tell that she wasn't lip syncing as she hit a couple of bum notes, changed the key of a couple of songs, huffed and puffed through the more vigorous dance routines and giggled and shared inside jokes with her dancers mid-song. For a sixteen year old on an arena tour, she was amazingly capable. I just think she has a long way to go in terms of making an emotional connection with her audience. It seemed a little like she phoned it in (not that the kids noticed one bit).
Oh, and have you met her brother Trace? Yeah, he opened for her with his band Metro Station. They played their big hit "Shake it" at the end of the show, which all the girls seemed to know and love. The problem with Metro Station (outside of asking "Ladies, let me hear you screeeeeeeaaam" about 1oo times) is that they took to some serious flirting with the audience, telling they were the most beautiful fans in the country and dedicating songs to them, etc. Ummm, Trace, honey, just in case you couldn't see past the lights and pyrotechnics, those "ladies" are primarily between the age of 4 and 11. It's just creepy. You might wanna dial that shit back.
All in all, the girls had a good time. God bless that that little sixteen year old for making the kids happy and mesmerizing them into a state of actual stillness. I know I probably come across a tad cynical here, but I am realistic enough to know that the concert wasn't meant for me. I am not the target demographic (nor are you middle aged dude), girls aged 4-11 are and as a whole, they LOVED the concert. And really, that's all that matters.