Saturday, November 21, 2009

I Had Floor Seats to a Concert. You'll Never Guess Which One.






A couple of nights ago I took my daughter and two of her friends to see Miley Cyrus in concert. We were lucky enough to have floor seats, so that lent some additional excitement to the event. For the girls that is. For me it was a sea of annoyance and concern.


First off, let's talk about the mothers. Help me baby Jesus if I did not see some ridiculously inappropriate looks on these women. The sequined newsboy hats, the false eyelashes and the the over-smoked eyes looked painfully desperate and costume-ish. I understand that they are trying to fit in, but by doing that, they stood out like a priest at Flashdancers.


Then there was the middle aged guy who came by himself. That just screams shady late night uncle. His whole look was very 'I still live with my mother and dry catskins in her shed' . I tried hard to steer the girls away from where he was sitting. My least favorite of all were the clueless parents that didn't seem to realize that they were at the event with 15,000 other people. It's great that they brought their adorable, curly headed moppets to see the show, but as soon as you put that adorable curly headed moppet on your shoulders, she becomes a globe-headed, stage blocking pain in the ass.


Then of course there was Miley herself. Who chose to use this tour to assert her sexuality in a series of hotpants and bustiers. There was nothing wrong with these costumes per se, I just think that some of the moms of younger girls were twitching with each crotch-busting costume change. It looked like poor Miley had to pick wedgies all night. One thing that I will say for the girl is that she sang every note. It was easy to tell that she wasn't lip syncing as she hit a couple of bum notes, changed the key of a couple of songs, huffed and puffed through the more vigorous dance routines and giggled and shared inside jokes with her dancers mid-song. For a sixteen year old on an arena tour, she was amazingly capable. I just think she has a long way to go in terms of making an emotional connection with her audience. It seemed a little like she phoned it in (not that the kids noticed one bit).

Oh, and have you met her brother Trace? Yeah, he opened for her with his band Metro Station. They played their big hit "Shake it" at the end of the show, which all the girls seemed to know and love. The problem with Metro Station (outside of asking "Ladies, let me hear you screeeeeeeaaam" about 1oo times) is that they took to some serious flirting with the audience, telling they were the most beautiful fans in the country and dedicating songs to them, etc. Ummm, Trace, honey, just in case you couldn't see past the lights and pyrotechnics, those "ladies" are primarily between the age of 4 and 11. It's just creepy. You might wanna dial that shit back.

All in all, the girls had a good time. God bless that that little sixteen year old for making the kids happy and mesmerizing them into a state of actual stillness. I know I probably come across a tad cynical here, but I am realistic enough to know that the concert wasn't meant for me. I am not the target demographic (nor are you middle aged dude), girls aged 4-11 are and as a whole, they LOVED the concert. And really, that's all that matters.


43 Your comments, banter and witty repartee:

Susan Fobes said...

My daughter started pulling away from the Hanah Montanna/Miley Cirus thing about a year ago, and I was secretly ecstatic! I just can't get over the fact that her father (and mother for that matter)are letting her-a 16 year old-parade around like she is a strip tease act. Whether they like it or not, her demographic are just what you said (girls to around age 11), and she needs to set a better example. (I guess I'm a bit cynical too...)

Erin said...

I'm not a Miley fan and am glad my girls are a little too young to even know who she is. But I know our time will come and like you, I'll be sitting at some concert wanting to scratch my eyeballs out!!! Good for you for going and being such a trooper about it!

Aunt Juicebox said...

My daughter has never liked Hannah or High School Musical, Jonas brothers etc. She leans a little onto the "dark side". Just like me. But I never would have taken her to something like this, so more power to ya!

singedwingangel said...

My gf took her daughter to the show here and was shocked at the clothing choices.. I think she needs to gear it back a bit for the younger ones who still watch her and idolize her as well..

Maya said...

You are a brave one. Thank goodness, my daughter is so far clueless about the tour.

Twincerely,Olga said...

congrats on being featured on SFTC!!! you are funny!!!

One Cluttered Brain said...

How did U get floor seats? Lucky.
My daughter LOVES Miley. That would have been a dream come true for her. For me, I think it would have been a nightmare. Miley has some okay songs, but teenagers tend to squeal a LOT when together...OW!
Bet you were glad when you were home in your bed huh?

Michele said...

My little one (who is only 5), has started in on me about Hannah Montana. Everything is "Hannah this, Hannah that". It's quite funny, but worrisome at the same time.

Sounds like an interesting concert for sure. Glad I have a few more years before I must inevidably "endure" lol

Great post!

Lisa Page Rosenberg said...

Who doesn't love a little camel toe on a tween idol?

Arizona Mamma said...

I am laughing at your "...dial that shit back" remark. Also, agreed...very strange for a middle aged man to be there by himself. Oh, and I pray that I am never one of those mothers who feels the need to try to relate to her daughter by dressing like an adolescent, because seriously, I wasn't even that good at it the first time around ;)

blueviolet said...

I burst out laughing when you said dial that shit back. It does crack me up when when I see young girls without hormones screaming as if they have them.

hokgardner said...

You are a far, far better mother than I. Even if my girls actually liked Miley, which they don't, I'd never agree to take them to a concert. I rarely even go to concerts for music I like. The crowds, the noise - eh. But I'm an anti-social grump, too.

MiMi said...

You are SO nice to take your daughters! I would rather stab my little eyeballs out than see Miley shake it like a little Disney money maker. But that goes for ALL those little teen bands...Jonas Brothers anyone? Blech!

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

Fun experience with them though, right?? I would have loved all that people watching...right up my alley!

glitterbygrammie said...

All I have to say is you are a brave soul.I guess when your young your reaction to things is screaming. Like when the Beatles or the Monkeys played. I think about it now and think how could I have really enjoyed those concerts. Hello don't you go to hear the music. apparently not then or now.

Chief said...

Hello? Miley has grown up!

Sherri @ Luv a Bargain said...

Oh, you are a good mama. I know your girls had to have a blast. My daughter would love it too.

Raoulysgirl said...

You get huge, HUGE props from me for having the courage to not only take a handful of preteens to a concert...but a Miley Cyrus concert, to boot!

And I hear ya on the creepy perv. Shouldn't they have, like, "screeners" or something? Absolutely creepy!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Susan - I know that day will come for me too. Until then, I'll play along.

Erin- It could have been worse, it could have been the Jonas Brothers. I might not have been able to take one for the team in that case.

Aunt Juicebox - Thanks. It wasn't terrible.

Maya - All it takes is one loose lipped friend.

Twincerely Olga - Thanks. It was tons of fun.

One Cluttered Brain - I don't know. It had to do with advance ticket sales for fanclub members or something. My husband was on duty for that part.

Michele - It's a slipery slope once it starts, but they say it ends. I haven't seen the light at the end of the tunnel yet.

LPR -Ugh! Don't remind me.

Nancy - No doubt. And the purpose was for the girls to have fun, so mission accomplished.

GlitterbyGrammie - The screaming at the end was what had my ears ringing, not the volume of the concert.

Chief - She sure has. She is outpacing her audience. Probably a challenge for any teen star at a point.

Sherri - Thanks. They loved it.

Arizona Mama - I know. Please spare me the embarrasment.

BlueViolet - I know. Weird and a little off-putting.

Hokgardener - Well, if I am willing to take the boy to see AC/DC then I have to be fair and go to Miley.

Mimi- I had to hide all sharp objects during the show.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Raouleysgirl - He might have been a reporter, now that I think about it. I kept looking at him and he stayed seated, did not sing along and looked bored out of his mind.

Menopausal New Mom said...

Oh, I don't look forward to being dragged to these concerts when my little one is older. I remember years ago taking my two nieces to see Vanilla Ice. Trust me, I had my fill of teenyboppers for a lifetime at that one Lol!

KK said...

How funny! You are brave!!!

Noelle said...

my almost 4 year old loves miley/hannah and we watch her every evening on disney channel. i was more than a little surprised the other day when a miley video for her new song "party in the usa" came on. it's like...i went to bed and miley was young and sweet and when i woke up and miley was uber sexy. (hello? britney spears, anyone?) i don't mind if that's what she wants to do cuz, sadly, sex sells...BUT disney channel: do me a favor and don't put that shit on in the middle of the day where my 3 year old daughter sees it and thinks sexy dancing is ok. imho, miley and her manager need to be responsible and figure out what, exactly, they want their target audience to be. whew...sorry! i kind of went off there a little bit.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

MenopausalNewMom - Vanilla Ice? I almost fell off my chair on that one.

KK - Is brave a kind word for crazy?

Noelle - The disney version and the MTV version need to be kept separate.

Ry Sal said...

All she needs to do is dye her hair blond and change her name to Leta Ford!

That One Mom said...

Fun stuff.

The Girl is dying to see Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift. I've already found a willing and unsuspecting 17 year-old girl to take her, if I get tickets. I don't think I could handle the Miley action.

Mommy Lisa said...

It's Miley! You are brave.

Allyson said...

oy. i agree with everyone. you are so so brave. but a very wonderful momma! i bet everyone who heard you took your daughter to that concert is soo wishin' you were their momma too. :)

Amy said...

Dude! You earned some serious mommy points on this one! I would be throwing this Miley concert into my daughter's face until she was 43.

The sound of Miley speaking sends me into a tailspin. I find her to be the most annoying adolescent on the planet. Don't even get me started on her singing voice. ACK!

I was sincerely put off by Kathy Griffin's stand up act concerning Miley at the VMA's. I pulled up the video on youtube only to find that Kathy hadn't embellished much. Miley scampered around the stage in tight short shorts and after awhile a stripper pole was brought out for her to grind on!

Again, ACK!

So glad you lived through this show DG! I am nominating you for mom of the century!

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

Oh good grief. I feel like I just went front row to that damn concert through your description of the night. And what is seriously up with Chester the Molester?! That is just grody.

Laura said...

Holy crap, this is the funniest thing I have read in awhile!! Love the "dial that shit back" remark, seriously funny stuff right there! LOVE IT!! Oh yeah and P.S. sorry you had to live through that but Party in the USA is pretty good though, huh!? :)

Laura said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Ry-Sal - My friend had a heavy metal record store (back when there was such a thing as record stores) and he WORSHIPED Lita Ford. He spent months harrassing her PR people and management to have her do an in store appearance. Well, she did and she showed up WASTED. He had the funniest pictures of them trying to get her in the van after she did her appearance.

Wow, that just made me feel old. . .

ThatOneMom - Yikes! Beiber Aye? That's a great approach. . . farm it out!

MommyLisa - Not so bad really.

Allyson - Thanks, that's very nice. It's only fair. If we go see Blink 182 and Weezer with our son, we have to go to Miley with our daughter.


Amy - Just wait. Jackers will be asking to go to whatever the hot concert of the moment is and you will be right there with him. It's not even something that you think twice about, especially when you see what they get out of it. It gets a better reaction than Disney World.

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 - I had read that Miley had a stalker, so I looked it up to see if it was this dude. It wasn't but they appeared to be cut from the same creepy cloth.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Laura - Thanks! Party in the USA huh? The only song that she does that even remotely endears her to the next generation and she comes out and craps all over it in the press. Said it's not her type of music, someone else wrote it for the Max Azria clothing line commercial and she's never even heard a Jay Z song. This girl is clearly not interested in racking up cool points.

Amy said...

LOL! Thank you for defending my beloved Jay-Z! I nearly wrecked my car the first time I heard her utter his name in her lyrics. GEEZ, Miley!!

You're right about the Jack thing too. I'll endure whatever I need to in order to see my kid that excited & happy! Your daughter will remember this concert her whole life! pretty cool!

Existential Waitress said...

I'm fast approaching the Hannah Montana Stage as my daughter just turned 4 in August. Props for enduring an entire show. LOL.

Aunt Becky said...

You are my hero for going to this concert, my friend.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Amy - well now you know how phoney that shout out was.

Existential Waitress - You're next. . .

Aunt Becky - Thanks. I feel like I need a corny tee shirt like "I survived the Miley Wonder World Tour"

Jen Chandler said...

You are one brave soul! I would have probably committed murder had I gone to that concert. I just can't get over the outfits and the way she moves on stage. These little girls are eating it up and it's not a very good thing. But hey, whatever floats your bloat.

Jen

kys said...

You are a good mom to do this. Thank goodness I have boys and they aren't into Miley or the Jonas Brothers. My oldest likes The Allman Brothers and Rush. (Thank you, Hubs.)

miss jo said...

What a great mom you are, taking the chicklets to a concert. I always have loved my parents for letting me and my sister go alone at 13 and 17 to Supreme, Fifth Dimension and Donovan concerts...Miley seems pretty harmless. At least she sings. I'll take the Lion King any day.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Jen - It's not my fave, but they did have a good time. It was a way to be together.

Kys - Thanks. I don't think I could do a Rush concert. Let me know how that works out. Is Geddy Lee still alive?

Miss Jo - Thanks. The Lion King definitely had more to offer my daughter and I. I was just a chaperone at Miley. I was invested in the Lion King.

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