I'm a pretty patient person. Really I am. Not prone to princess and the pea fuss-pot behavior or petty grievances, I let a whole lot of things go. But there is a woman who is working my last nerve so hard, that I might blow my kind (bats lashes innocently) facade and give her a piece of the imbroglio of bile that she creates in my stomach.
Here's how the story goes -
I work with a lovely man that I'll call Jake Ryan. That's not his real name, but since Jake Ryan from Sixteen Candles was such a hotness monster, we'll use that name. Jake is a very smart and competent man at his job. He is a model employee, constantly furthering his education and making better every project that he lends his technical abilities to. To top it all off, he's a lovely, humble person, who is a true pleasure to work with. Sounds like a dream, right? So what could the problem be? His wife.
His wife and I are vague acquaintances. We know a couple of the same people and have been thrown together at events and such. When I first met her, I went out of my way to tell her what a lovely and talented person her husband was and to complement his accomplishments and the value he adds on the job. You would think that would suffice on the topic, right? In my opinion, all that was necessary in that scenario was to be gracious, say thank you and move on. Not this one. From that moment and every moment since that she has been thrust upon me (totally unwillingly, mind you), she has monopolized the conversation, basically reciting his resume in a unbearable brag fest. I don't know what she is trying to prove, but I am clearly well aware of his abilities, I have stated as much. This bitch is selling hard, way past the close.
I have tried very hard to understand what she is about. From what I can tell, she does not work, volunteer or have any kind of life outside of this man, so I suppose she is living vicariously through his achievements. I of course feel terribly sorry for what I perceive to be her own personal emptiness. However, I have heard enough. My patience is all but gone and my veneer of politeness is worn to a see-through state. It is all I can do to keep from stopping her mid-sentence and reciting his accomplishments to her. I've heard them umpteen times, I can quote them chapter and verse.
I guess what I am really wrestling with here is the bragging aspect of it. It makes me so uncomfortable, I just want to crawl out of my skin. It has never been something that I have been able to tolerate. Maybe I need take a good long look at what it is in my history that makes me so uncomfortable with people who engage in this behavior. Or maybe I need to gag her with a dirty sweat sock and some duct tape. Not really sure on this one.