Monday, December 7, 2009

Hairstyling with the Chickens

This morning a weary child stumbled out of bed uncharacteristically early and started the shower. Then the child towel dried and blow dried their hair in preparation for the flat ironing to come. That child? My son.

It seems that someone has put a bug in his ear that his thick, naturally wavy hair would look good if he flat ironed it. That someone, I have determined, is female. So as a result, the quiet, peaceful pre-dawn hours of the morning, have been pierced by the drill Sergent like orders of a 13 year old. Being that I don't want a pre-dawn visit to the ER for any flat ironed body parts, I have accepted the challenge of straightening his hair for him.

Last night, after a lengthy discussion about Japanese Hair Straightening and chemical relaxers - what they do, how they work, the damage they cause, etc. The boy asked me to flat iron his hair "as a joke". Well, not 30 seconds after I had delivered the punchline on that joke, texts were sent, Facebook status was updated and a new photo uploaded. Hilarious, right?

So here I am, sleep barely out of my eyes, listening to the little boss man tell me - " Don't swoop it to the left, I don't want it emo." "Why is it sticking up over there? I want it down." "How's the back? Is the back straight?" And while I was almost overcome with the impulse to flat iron his tongue as he was barking orders, I realized that this time that I could spend, bonding with him over hair, along with the fact that I have the skills to do so, is a gift. It's a gift because this child is usually nothing more than a moody mirage, flashing thorough a hallway, scarfing down the contents of the refrigerator in the middle of the night or asking for a ride hiter and yon. So I'll take the gift. Even though I probably won't appreciate it anymore by Friday morning.

49 Your comments, banter and witty repartee:

Menopausal New Mom said...

This is a riot and yes, I guess you should just accept it as a bonding opportunity. You're right though, only a pretty girl could cause a guy to go to all this trouble!

Raoulysgirl said...

It's great that you see this as a gift. Although, you're right...by Friday you may be searching down the little hussy that initiated this intrusion on your mornings. In any case, as teens go, it should be over by the weekend anyway. Just keep your fingers crossed that the next girl he tries to impress doesn't like eyeliner and black fingernail polish!!!

Man...I thought having girls was tough!!!

Annette said...

LOL Love the title. =) I have two hormonal female teens in the house and yes, they are moody mirages, bickering over hairspray and eyeliner. I too take what I can get, regardless of the time.

Thank you for sharing this moment with me. =)

blueviolet said...

You totally cracked me up when he said he didn't want it looking emo! That look cracks me up.

You're such a good mom. And I hear you about sneaking those moments in together when you can. :)

Sara said...

It's nice that you're seeing the positive here.

Also, I think the best part is that your son does not want to look Emo. Good for him, because the only girls that like that are Emo girls... and you don't want to deal with that piping hot cup 'o' crazy.

Existential Waitress said...

I'm new here - nice post! Parenting is funny business. Thanks for sharing this story. It brightened my morning!

Aunt Juicebox said...

My daughter swears she can't wear her hair the same way two days in a row, or she'll be laughed out of high school. I know I haven't been in school for many a year, but I don't recall girls being nearly that anal about their hair.

"Julie" said...

my nephews used to have the "straight surfer hair" thing and it was so hysterical to watch them preen and make sure it was "just right"! Love it!

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

That is so cute that he is flat ironing his hair!! And, I agree, take it where you can get it!

hokgardner said...

Oh gosh - I hope none of my kids ever decide that they want me to do their hair. Because anything beyond a ponytail or braid is WAY out of my league.

MiMi said...

It's a blessing in "hair do" disguise.

Mommy Lisa said...

I got a 5:55 am visitor and took the opportunity to make us breakfast in bed. She is not worried about her hair yet...she is still only three.

kys said...

You should post a picture of the new hair! Hopefully, he'll be over this phase by the weekend.

angryredhead said...

Hahahaha hilarious, but like someone else said, love the positivity

linlah said...

Oh the hairdo's and don't of teenage boys with a girl in their ear. I've been there and all I can offer is good luck.

Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...

oh man. this is so great. how curly is his hair???

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

Oh WOW! I thought I was going to be off the hook with my son and primping. I mean I knew I was doomed with a girl, but now you're telling me I may have to straight iron my SON'S hair? I love that you almost ironed his tongue. Totally gonna be my new threat from now on.

Erin said...

You must post photos of this. Seriously!

And, will you come do my hair??

Amy said...

I just got a glimpse 10 years into the future:
I saw your family all sitting around a table enjoying thanksgiving dinner and all of you laughing and reminiscing about that one time "the boy flatironed his hair!"

I promise he will look back on this and laugh! Until then, yeah, enjoy the gift;)

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Menopausal New Mom - All I can say is that girl better watch her back or I'll flat iron HER tounge.

Raoulysgirl - Hopefully you are right about it being short lived. As of 3:00 today, he was riding high on a wave of confidence.

Annette - Thanks. The hormones rage in the boys and the girls and so does the preening. He told me last nigtht that he is "metro" and cares about whether his clothes match.

Blue Violet - I actually like Emo/Scene hair. If I were young and reckless again, that would be my look.

Sara - It is positive. I know, the Emo girls come with baggage. I was sort of on the fringes of that when I was a teen.

Existential Waitress - Welcome and thank you.

Aunt Juicebox - Oh my. That's an awful lot of pressure.

Julie - Boys are just as high maintenance at this age as girls are.

Lee - What's a few flat iron burns on my fingers for a little quality time, right?

HOKgardener - It's easy for me. I'm a reformed hairdresser (I can't braid worth a crap though).

Kys - I hope you're right. Come friday there will either be boredom with the look, or someone is learning to flat iron their own hair.

Angry Redhead - Girl, I'll take time with him where I can get it. He's hardly ever home.

Linlah - Uh, oh. That sounds like a warning if ever I heard one.

MODG - Not too curly. Wavy, thick and heavily texturized.

Monique - Nope. You're next!

Erin - Sure, you fly me there and I'll flat iron your hair!

Susan Fobes said...

Boys flat iron their hair? I am genuinely surprised and feel for you at the same time. Good luck!

Noelle said...

omg...i have tears in my eyes!!! i don't know if you meant that to be a touching story or if my ovaries are screwing with me again, but that story made me cry! that is so sweet!

Lin said...

Oh.....my......GOD! Don't do it! You'll be his freaking hair stylist every day clear through to high school graduation!! AARRGGGHHHH!!! (It was hilarious though--you know, the thought in my mind of you straightening your son's hair!)

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Amy - 10 years into the future, the flat iron might be in your hand. ;)

Susan Fobes - Ugh. They are as bad as the girls.

Noelle - I'm glad it touched you. I am crazy about that kid, even when he makes me nuts.

Lin - He and I have already started talking about flat iron lessons. I need to blog in the morning, I can't play beauty parlor!

KK said...

So a 13 year old boy cares far more about his hair than me! Oh well! You are awesome to do that for him!

peewee said...

THAT is the cutest thing ever! I wish my mom would come flat iron my hair. I see a lucrative Job at Fantastic Sams waiting for you!

Michele said...

This post cracked me up. You are such a great writer for one thing..and the emo comment ~ priceless. I actually don't mind the look either, but that's another post.

I go through this "bonding" time with Trinity every single morning when she starts to freak out trying to do her own hair. I used to think of it as a gift, but now I seriously just want to shave her head. LOL

But seriously, how cool of you to take a step back and appriciate the time with your son, regardless of what you were doing. You're an amazing mother.

Flat iron his tongue ~ classic. LMAO at that one too.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

KK - Yes, we officially spent more time on his hair this morning than I did on mine.

PeeWee - Fantastice Sams, huh? I thought I was at least Super Cuts material.

Michele - That's very nice of you to say. We ironed again today. Tonight, we teach him how to do it himself.

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

Had to laugh at this. I can relate in that I had pretty unrully thick hair as a teen. Poor guy! I wonder who will have had enough of it first though? You or him?

The Only Girl said...

OMG - that's so funny! You must keep pictures, and maybe even video, so as to embarrass him about it all at a later date. Like maybe his wedding.

Kimberly said...

Wow...I so see what I am missing out on.

Aunt Becky said...

Bwahahahahaha! That's awesome. Kids are so weird. Did it look good?

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Nancy - I am pretty sure it's going to be me.

Only Girl- I have quite an arsenal of blackmail pictures.

Kimberly - Yup. Amateur hairdresser hour.

Aunt Becky - He looks adorable, but not SO adorable that I want to do this forever.

That One Mom said...

I seriously go thru this with The Girl each time she has a new crush... She's 9. Ugh.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

That One Mom - Really? I don't think I'd have the patience.

Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

How funny, the activities that teens choose to share with their parents--hair straightening? Hang in there, enjoy the moments, this too shall pass!

Visiting from SITS.

Sarah said...

Oh my gosh. This cracked me up! I taught high school before I had my LO (last year). The boys are just as bad as the girls sometimes haha! I think it's really cute that he involved you in the whole thing.

Mrsblogalot said...

I am so glad that you didn't flat iron his tongue...you never know what he might ask you for later (-:

Good for you to see the quality in that time!

becca said...

Oh great, here I thought I was going to have it easy with my son! I assumed only my daughter would be shouting orders for her beauty regimen but I guess I should think again... then again, my son has the straightest, finest hair you could ever dream of so maybe I won't have to deal with that. Let's hope it's not makeup application in his future! ;) He's one... I have a while to worry.

Cute post! Visiting from Sits.

carol said...

I'm just thrilled when my 13 year old son kept his doggone hair out of his eyes. glad you have a gift with the flat iron

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

girl, that is love

love

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Karen - It could be worse. I'm actually kind of enjoying it.


Sarah - The boys definitely care more than they might let on.

Mrs Blogalot - If I flat iron his tounge, it will be for backtalking me. Not obsessing ove his hair.

Becca - Yeah, I guess Adam Lambert and his mom put on eyeliner together.

Carol - Yeah, it would suck if I were too spastic to use the iron.

SFTC - You know I love that boy more than my luggage!

Roshni said...

OMG!! I thought I wouldn't have to go through all that coz I had two boys!!!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Roshni - There is no escaping the self consciousness of teens.

maya said...

I cut a few teenage boys hair. It is very difficult to control my laughter when they tell me they spend more time on their hair than i do. But I'm sure I will be ecstatic to share those moments with my own little boy.

Brittany at Mommy Words said...

This is great bonding opportunity as well asa kodak moment. I know how the hiar demands feel - but not from a tennager and nnot from a boy. Good for you for helping him out! You rock!

miss jo said...

Quality hair time. Who knew ? I'm sure he'll one day appreciate his waves. George Clooney has waves. :)

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Miss Jo - Yeah, he has already stopped getting up early for it. So, he's kickin it Clooney style again.

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