Wednesday, January 13, 2010

What I Meant to Say Wednesday - Hosted by Chief




Welcome to What I Meant to Say Wednesday, hosted by Chief at Hiding From the Kids.

I am a master of politically correct speech. I could actually write a book on all the nicey, nicey, spare that person's feelings and don't wind up in HR bullshit that I spew on a daily basis. I apologize for going cheap on you with this one, but in the interest of time, I am providing only one entry for today:

QA Tester: When I said perhaps you should enlist the assistance of your manager to escalate the requirement to have the process that you need run put on a regular, daily schedule.

What I Meant To Say Was:
Listen pal, I am not your hand maiden. Nowhere in my job description does it say ass monkey for QA. You do your friggin job and I'll do mine.


There, I feel better. Thanks Chief.

35 Your comments, banter and witty repartee:

Kmama said...

Stopping by from Chief's...

As someone who works in HR, we appreciate that you keep the niceties. LOL

linlah said...

I fail miserably in PC vernacular. If the inappropriate doesn't come out of my mouth it's written all over my face.

MiMi said...

HA!

Amy said...

Brilliant!

Arizona Mamma said...

Ass monkey...nice!

Sara said...

You are no one's ass monkey!

The Rambler said...

Ahhh...the politics of not offending a worker that is a complete moron at work...I mean, Your substandard work is affecting business in a negative way.

Sigh.

:)

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

huh??????? dumb blond without the blond

blueviolet said...

I vote you just sing it out loud and strong! Of course that might land you in HR. :(

Lin said...

Wow, that is some translation. Funny how I didn't spot 'ass monkey' in the first version. LOL!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Kmamma - Thanks for stopping by. HR is a tough racket.


Linlah - WYSIWYG

MiMi- Are you looking for an ass monkey? I can get you one for cheap.

Amy - It migh have been if I had actually said it.

AZ Momma - It fits.

Sara - You're damn skippy!

Rambler - I know. Sometimes you just have to step back,take a deep breath and go to your happy place before you answer.

Lee - Someone was asking me to do their job and I politely directed them to the proper channels. WIWTS was I don't work for you. Do your own job asshat!

BlueViolet - If I wasn't so attached to my paycheck, I might.

Lin - Reread it. Clear as day now, right?

singedwingangel said...

lmbo now come on seriously doncha hate when people think you have nothign better to do with your job then to do theirs as well but they get the pay ummm yeah Ill do your job and mine when I get paid for both..

Susan Fobes said...

This is too funny! I wonder what the world would be like if we could all just say what we really meant/thought? Hmm... Maybe not...

Insanitykim said...

Word.

Chief said...

ass monkey

Richard Gere loves his.. oh no, that was a gerbil!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Angel - It is a common hazard of my position as ass monkey, uh, I mean Project Manager.

Susan Fobes - I think a war would break out if my inner monologue came out.

Kim - True dat.

Chief - Now this has turned into a post about felch1ng?

June said...

Short and to the point - I like it!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

June - Yes indeed. And that's a rare treat coming from me.

Masala Chica said...

Wait? That's NOT part of your job description? I have always aspired to be promoted to QA ass monkey so I really hope you are on an ok career path.

ass monkeys get paid a lot I hear. (well we have some that I know who do.)

xoxo,
kiran

wheelboy said...

Really clever as usual

kys said...

"Ass monkey" - If I had a file of insulting and sassy terms to pull out for future use this would go right in there. Love it!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Masala Chica - I am doomed to failure, due to my unwillingness to function in the role of QA ass monkey. My career train has jumped the track.

Wheelboy - Mighty nice of you to say so.



Kys - If only we could use it on the job. I work with a pack of crazed ass monkeys.

Maven said...

TOWANDA!!!

Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Marla said...

You said a mouthful!!

Erin said...

ass monkey--love that! Cannot wait to use it myself. I find such creativity and inspiration in my Bloggy buds!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Maven - If TOWANDA means I'm kicking ass and taking names (in my head), then TOWANDA indeed.

Marla - Yeah, if only I really said it.

Erin - Enjoy the ass monkey. It is for all people.

Joy said...

I like the phrase a$$ monkey. Almost as much as I like the phrase a$$ clown. I'll have to start using a-m more often.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Joy - You can never have enough ass things.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Amen to that. A$$ makes it all better, doesn't it?

Allyson said...

I'm not even sure what a QA Tester is or what that sentence even meant but the very fact that you worked "ass monkey" into your post makes me want to start using it on a daily basis.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Sara - It is a molder and a shaper of phrases. I am pretty sure if Shakespere was alive, he'd be an ass man. Uh, ass user. No, that's no better. He'd write about ass. Awwwww, forget it.
You know what I mean.

Allyson - Do a quick count. I'll bet you know at least 5 people that you could easily label an ass monkey.

miss jo said...

Doesn't it feel good to cut through the blah-blah-blah, even if it's just on your blog ? I hate office b.s. language, really a parallel universe.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Miss Jo - Parallel universe is the perfect way to describe it.

Jen Chandler said...

I really hate that we can't say what we feel like saying. Not that we should be rude (most of the time) but all this pc speech is getting to sound like lawyer speak! Geez.
Jen

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