Saturday, May 29, 2010

Run, Don't Walk to the Blob Identification Winner's Circle


Well, well, well. I must say, you are a creative bunch. Not content to accept the obvious, the immediate, the elegantly mundane. No not you, dear readers. You prefer flights of fancy upon the wings of swollen pancreases, pop art dog poop and the ovaries of pop princesses who flash their pants-less genitalia without awareness that they are the harbinger of the downfall of society. Or, to put it more plainly, y'all are some funny futha muckers.


So without further blustery bulldinkies from me, I present to you the guesses, the truth, the winner(s) and the prize from Thursday's name that blob contest:



The Guesses

Foam Insulation - Angel Believes, The Empress
Cheeze Whiz or Velveeta, processed through my dog - Sue
Breast fed baby poop - Sarah Lindahl
A giant pile of mango slices - Sarah Lindahl
Brittney Spears' ovaries - Linlah
Ronald Mc Donald's Hemorrhoid - Mom of the Perpetually Grounded
Puff paint - Mom of the Perpetually Grounded
A bowel movement from the Mutha Effin Thing - Barry G
Super Elastic Bubble Plastic - Jen Chandler
Results of a nasty ear infection - Jen Chandler
Sweetbreads - Erin
????? - Foxy
Egg yolks - Aunt Juicebox
Cake Icing - Aunt Juicebox
Elephantitis of the pancreas - Heligirl


The Truth

I went into 7-11 for a cup of appallingly bad coffee and as I walked past the nacho cheese machine, I noticed this strangely configured pile of cheese that had dripped out of the machine. Similar to Barry G's thinking, this reminded me of something that fell off The Thing. Intrigued by it, I took a picture, intending to post it on my blog - because, let's be real here, this kind of nonsense is the exact reason I have a blog. And here we are.



The Winner(s)

For guessing what the blob actually was, there was no winner. Nobody correctly identified the orange mass as 7-11 nacho cheese drippings (though some got into the cheese ballpark).



For funniest, you really challenged me with this because, I found all of these to be hysterical. So because I only had two prizes to give away, I am going with:



Linlah (because she made me laugh and got a supporting vote from Mom of the Perpetually Grounded)



Barry G (because he pretty much saw the same thing in the orange pile that I did, which is either scary or cool as hell)



Honestly, if I could have given a prize to everyone, I absolutely would have. A round of applause and an honorable mention to all.



The Prize

Because most people (other than me) actually like the appallingly bad coffee at 7-11, I have a $10 7-11 gift card for each of the winners. Congratulations!



Winners, please e-mail me your snail mail information at diaryofamadbathroom(at)gmail(dot)com.





Have a Happy Memorial Day and look out for THE BLOB!





24 Your comments, banter and witty repartee:

Tropical Mum said...

I have a joke for you that is relevant to this post: What do you call cheese that does not belong to you?



Nacho cheese.

I'm done.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Tropical Mum - Here's your rim shot - *!*

Allyson said...

I want a rum shot! Oh wait..that says "rim"...nevermind. ;) Truly disgusting and a very good reason to brew your own. We bought a Keurig last week and never looked back.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Allyson - I have a Keurig a funky-ass Dutch coffee machine (Technivorm?), Starbucks beans and a gold membership in the Starbucks coffee club - yet, sometimes you just can't beat the convenience of 7-11. More importantly, they sell the dog and cat food that I CONSTANTLY seem to run out of. In those times, I punish myself by making myself drink their swill. If only Starbucks would get into the pet food business, this would become a non-issue for me.

linlah said...

Yea me. Thanks DG and thanks Mom of the Perpetually Grounded for your support.

Erin said...

hilarious guesses and CONGRATS to the creative winners!

Anonymous said...

Woo hoo!!! Thanks, DG and congrats Linlah. I must admit I was thisclose to guessing it was a bowel movement by the human torch.

Barry G W

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Linlah - Her ovaries just HAVE to be knotted up like that. You called it!

Erin - Thanks for playing along!

Barry G - Congrats! BTW, this just in - The Human Torch was denied a bank loan.

Eternally Distracted said...

I will never know how anyone got that right!!

The Crazy Baby Mama said...

eeewwwwwww :)

AB said...

I didn't know what that was, but knowing it's basically old 7-11 rancid cheese is highly disturbing. I think I'll have to take ambien to sleep tonight. And I'm ok with that.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Eternally Distracted - Well, nobody got it exactly right, but they sure did think of some funny alternatives for it.

Crazy Baby Mama - It was petrified. Bet I coulda hit it with a tennis racket.

AB - Considering that the stuff is pretty rank when it's fresh out of the little butt nozzle on the machine, you can only assume that it gets increasingly nasty when oxidation kicks in. Unlike Stilton or a nice Vermont Cheddar, squeeze cheese is not meant to "age".

peewee said...

I can't believe I missed out on this whole thing!!! This is SO up my 7-11 alley!! That'll teach ME not to take a blogging reading break!

Sara said...

Britney Spears' ovaries is better than anything I could've come up with.

This also reinforces why I don't eat nacho cheese.

That's disgusting.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

PeeWee - Soemthing tells me you would have ID'd that cheese pile in 5 seconds.

Sara - Which, the cheese or her ovaries? Or both?

The Empress said...

Oh, I am aghast!

I swore up and down on a stack of bibles that was spray foam insulation.

Life will continue to shock the heck out of me till the day I die.

Wow...nacho cheese, whoda thunk it?

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Empress - The contest was culturally biased as I am sure that her highness does not frequent the 7-11.

Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds said...

I'm only sorry I wasn't here to be a part of the guessing. I'd have gone with "balloon animal gone horribly wrong".

I'm nearly always a day late.

Lin said...

Those are GREAT answers!! Dang! I'm sorry I missed this contest. :( I would have guessed cat poop after he ate a stick of butter.

Kimberly said...

I loved the guesses that people gave, and I would have guessed some sort of entrails. Nacho cheese at a 7-11...nope, would not have guessed it.

Have a great one. I hope you will stop by for my Mia Monday...every Monday.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Joey - Woulda been a great guess.

Lin - Can you imagine? That sounds like a trip to the vet for sure.

Kimberly - Yup, it definitely has an innard type feel. Maybe next time!

foxy said...

Well, that just grosses me out. That cheese ain't right!

Jen Chandler said...

That's hysterical. Congrats to the winners :)

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