Write drunk; edit sober - Ernest Hemingway
Now before you get your panties in a bunch, you need to know that I am not in any way comparing my writing to E.H.'s. No, I am simply attempting to test the merits of his famous quote, to see if it improves on my manic musings in any way.
Allow me to set the stage for you; it's 7:00 PM on Saturday night, dinner is over, I know where my children are and I have decided to open a bottle of Pinot Grigio. I have a tendency to be conservative with wine and save it for times when it can be shared with someone. It is a beverage best enjoyed in a convivial setting, but like the bitches in the L'Oreal commercials say,"I'm worth it."
The link between drinking and writing is one worth exploring as I am a die hard fan of the writing of(alleged) former drunk extraordinaire, Elvis Costello. Though sober now, he was supposedly a spectacular drunk for much of his early career. And while all I can remember about Hemmingway's The Old Man and The Sea is that the old man urinated over the side of his boat, I can quote the lyrics of the Trust album like a televangelist quotes the bible.
At this point in my experiment, I am about 2/3 of the way through the bottle. I wouldn't call myself drunk, but I can definitely feel my my filter fading away. That filter is what keeps me from embedding videos of The Farting Preacher in my posts (investigate for yourself, I don't want to risk the fire and brimstone) and keeps me from saying things like "everyone on the Food Network is a summa cum laude douche bag". I'm not an angry drunk, but I certainly can't maintain my PC facade. I mean, I'm looking at Bobby Flay. Maybe that's not the wine talking.
So I leave this post now and move on to drunk baking. I have a hankerin' for Russian Tea Cookies that can't be tamed by a fruity white wine. Say a prayer that I don't burn myself alive in the process. I will edit this hot mess in the morning and we'll see if Hemingway's theory holds water. If this does not look like the train wreck that I am expecting, I may have to adopt a six toed cat and move to Key West with nothing but the clothes on my back and a couple of cases of vodka. We'll see.
Morning After Notes:
This post, while pointless, neither suffered at the hand of the wine nor gained anything at all. It is merely an experiment in wasted time. So my morning after assessment is that with regard to this particular quote, Hemingway had his head up his ass.
The results of the drunk baking have some merit however. The cookies I made are spectacular. Perhaps the quote should have been "Bake drunk; eat sober" . Perhaps if I consume enough vodka, I might have the stones to attempt my culinary nemesis - puff pastry. But first I'll have to up my homeowner's insurance.