The following morning exchange occurred on a day when the world's surliest teenager woke up late for school. If this is your first trip to Angstworld, and you're unfamiliar with Angstspeak, I have inserted translations below the actual dialogue. I have become well versed in "Angst" and am available for hire. Fee: free, in the spirit of fellow commiseration.
PARENT: "Hey, darling, you'll be late if you don't get up now."
15 YR OLD: "Why'd you let me sleep so dang late? You NEVER wake me up in time for anything."
HE IS SAYING: "Man, I am so tired, Mom. Can I sleep a bit longer?"
PARENT: "Sorry you'll have to rush, sweetie. I'll help you out. What do you need?"
15 YR OLD: "You still don't know what I need in the morning? How long have I been your son?"
HE IS SAYING: "I'm too tired to think, Mom. You always do it right. Can you do it for me, please?"
PARENT: "Here, I've got breakfast set. Come on down, I'll get your lunch packed. Then you can wash up instead of a shower."
15 YR OLD: "No shower???!! No shower??!! Man, does everyone get gross like that when they get old? I'm taking a shower. You're the one that got me up late. Why do I have to be the one to go without a shower."
HE IS SAYING: "You know how important my appearance is at this age. Please figure out a way to make time stop so I can get in the shower."
PARENT: "Alright. Sneak one in. I can get you to school on time. You're never late, it'll be alright."
15 YR OLD: "Nothing's ever alright at that place. They always find something wrong..I hate having to get a tardy slip. Just get me there, alright?"
HE IS SAYING: "I have a lot of pressures with being cool. Walking in with a tardy slip like a little kid is embarrassing. Please oh please, Mom, break some laws getting me to school on time."
PARENT: "It'll be alright. Come on, honey. Everything is set, and I fixed your breakfast so you can eat it in the car. Get dressed, and you'll make it with 2 minutes to spare. I'll be in the car. Your backpack's already in there, too."
15 YR OLD: "Thanks, Mom."
HE IS SAYING: "Oh, Mom, I am such a fool. Blind and full of bitterness. I'm so sorry for the way I acted toward you. I spoke to you with disrespect and a curt tongue, when all the time you are my mother.Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?"
PARENT: "Of course I do."
15 YR OLD: "Whatcha say, Mom? Who are you talking to?"
PARENT: "Oh, nothing, honey. Just something I heard in my head. Here, I think you've got some Clearasil left on your face. There. I love you."