I don't have a guest poster for this installment, so I will treat myself like one. Allow me to introduce this week's Teenager Edition post from Diary of A Mad Bathroom. If you don't already know Diary, go here to check her out, follow and show love. Enjoy!
Evolution of the American Teenager - 14 Year Olds Across the Decades
by DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom
Hair: Pincurl set, worn combed out or with set hair covered in a kerchief.
Clothes worn: (Casual) Rolled up boys jeans, white tee shirt, sneakers (Dressy) Impossibly tight black pencil skirt, fitted white blouse, heels.
Clothes her mother thought she was wearing: Poodle skirt, cardigan, saddle shoes (all deposited in neighbor's bushes)
Music: Elvis, Bill Haley, Bo Diddley, Little Richard, Chuck Berry
- Sneaking out window to go to the Alan Freed rock n' roll show at the Apollo Theater, NYC .
- Tearing own hair out watching Elvis on TV.
Parental Musical Conflict: Parents burned her Elvis records in fear of his flaming hot sexuality. The church did not approve, so, obviously.
Thinks his/her parents are: Completely out of touch and provincial.
Parents are actually: Completely out of touch and provincial. They thrive financially on one salary and live a cocktails and suits existence that reads like a clip from madmen. Of course, the resulting alcoholism is neither discussed nor addressed as it is merely a cultural norm.
Cultural Issues/Concerns: Other than an intense fear of communism and nuclear war, there were none (except Elvis' hips). Duck and cover.
Hair: Long layered shag style called "The Sauvage" (think Steven Tyler and Joe Perry's late 70's hair), blown dry to a crisp and straightened with a straightening iron.
Clothes worn: Impossibly tight designer jeans, tight and low-cut shirts, concert tee shirts and Candies slides.
Clothes her mother thought she was wearing: Impossibly tight designer jeans, tight and low-cut shirts, concert tee shirts and Candies slides (she doesn't like her daughter's clothes, but she tolerates them, only voicing her displeasure on occasion)
Music: The Cars, The Knack, Blondie, Led Zeppelin, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Queen
- Too many to mention. Suffice to say, current existence is nothing short of a miracle.
Parental Music Conflict: Mother grudgingly purchases Blondie's "Eat to the the Beat" album but makes it clear that she thinks that Deborah Harry is a "dirt bag".
Thinks his/her parents are: Generally unsavory and embarrassing company. Father sings along to Doo Wop music in the car and lifts one ass cheek to fart, which he seems to do constantly. Mom is reasonably cool but often comes along with the embarrassing dad, lowering her coolness factor considerably.
Parents are actually: Both working full time and exhausted from trying to battle inflation. Weary from the Oil Crisis and meat boycotts of prior years. Pretty savvy about some of the things their kids are doing, but ultimately blind to many of the things that the sexual revolution has introduced to teenagers in the past 20 years.
Hair: Longish, combed forward and over, but not quite emo. Often flat ironed and held at bay by hair product and a beanie.
Clothes worn: Impossibly tight skinny jeans, plaid shorts, tee shirts, Vans slip-ons, boxer shorts
Clothes his mother thought he was wearing: She shops for all his clothes (and washes them) so she knows every last stitch.
Music: All Time Low, A Day to Remember, Brand New, Pierce the Veil
- Getting shot in the neck with an airsoft pellet, while goofing around with his notsobright friends, none of whom were wearing goggles or helmets.
Parental Music Conflict: None. Mother likes all his music.
Thinks his/her parents are: Helicopter parents as they expects things like - being texted back, specific pickup and drop off times, use of bicycle and airsoft helmets and other irrational demands.
Parents are actually: Both working and exhausted from trying to battle their way out of the recession. Weary from the the demands of careers that require greater than 40 hours per week in order to ensure success. Overly cautious about drugs as they lost several of their own friends to heroin and cocaine addiction. As a result, they are hyper-aware of pharma parties, meth labs and the growing heroin problem in local high schools.