Friday, June 18, 2010

Look What Fell Off My Family Tree Friday- Teenager Edition - Featuring Me

I don't have a guest poster for this installment, so I will treat myself like one. Allow me to introduce this week's Teenager Edition post from Diary of A Mad Bathroom. If you don't already know Diary, go here to check her out, follow and show love. Enjoy!

Evolution of the American Teenager - 14 Year Olds Across the Decades
by DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom

Hair: Pincurl set, worn combed out or with set hair covered in a kerchief.
Clothes worn: (Casual) Rolled up boys jeans, white tee shirt, sneakers (Dressy) Impossibly tight black pencil skirt, fitted white blouse, heels.
Clothes her mother thought she was wearing: Poodle skirt, cardigan, saddle shoes (all deposited in neighbor's bushes)
Music: Elvis, Bill Haley, Bo Diddley, Little Richard, Chuck Berry
Dumbass Move:
- Sneaking out window to go to the Alan Freed rock n' roll show at the Apollo Theater, NYC .
- Tearing own hair out watching Elvis on TV.
Parental Musical Conflict: Parents burned her Elvis records in fear of his flaming hot sexuality. The church did not approve, so, obviously.
Thinks his/her parents are: Completely out of touch and provincial.
Parents are actually: Completely out of touch and provincial. They thrive financially on one salary and live a cocktails and suits existence that reads like a clip from madmen. Of course, the resulting alcoholism is neither discussed nor addressed as it is merely a cultural norm.
Cultural Issues/Concerns: Other than an intense fear of communism and nuclear war, there were none (except Elvis' hips). Duck and cover.

Hair: Long layered shag style called "The Sauvage" (think Steven Tyler and Joe Perry's late 70's hair), blown dry to a crisp and straightened with a straightening iron.
Clothes worn: Impossibly tight designer jeans, tight and low-cut shirts, concert tee shirts and Candies slides.
Clothes her mother thought she was wearing: Impossibly tight designer jeans, tight and low-cut shirts, concert tee shirts and Candies slides (she doesn't like her daughter's clothes, but she tolerates them, only voicing her displeasure on occasion)
Music: The Cars, The Knack, Blondie, Led Zeppelin, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Queen
Dumbass Move:
- Too many to mention. Suffice to say, current existence is nothing short of a miracle.
Parental Music Conflict: Mother grudgingly purchases Blondie's "Eat to the the Beat" album but makes it clear that she thinks that Deborah Harry is a "dirt bag".
Thinks his/her parents are: Generally unsavory and embarrassing company. Father sings along to Doo Wop music in the car and lifts one ass cheek to fart, which he seems to do constantly. Mom is reasonably cool but often comes along with the embarrassing dad, lowering her coolness factor considerably.
Parents are actually: Both working full time and exhausted from trying to battle inflation. Weary from the Oil Crisis and meat boycotts of prior years. Pretty savvy about some of the things their kids are doing, but ultimately blind to many of the things that the sexual revolution has introduced to teenagers in the past 20 years.

Hair: Longish, combed forward and over, but not quite emo. Often flat ironed and held at bay by hair product and a beanie.
Clothes worn: Impossibly tight skinny jeans, plaid shorts, tee shirts, Vans slip-ons, boxer shorts
Clothes his mother thought he was wearing: She shops for all his clothes (and washes them) so she knows every last stitch.
Music: All Time Low, A Day to Remember, Brand New, Pierce the Veil
Dumbass Move:
- Getting shot in the neck with an airsoft pellet, while goofing around with his notsobright friends, none of whom were wearing goggles or helmets.
Parental Music Conflict: None. Mother likes all his music.
Thinks his/her parents are: Helicopter parents as they expects things like - being texted back, specific pickup and drop off times, use of bicycle and airsoft helmets and other irrational demands.
Parents are actually: Both working and exhausted from trying to battle their way out of the recession. Weary from the the demands of careers that require greater than 40 hours per week in order to ensure success. Overly cautious about drugs as they lost several of their own friends to heroin and cocaine addiction. As a result, they are hyper-aware of pharma parties, meth labs and the growing heroin problem in local high schools.

22 Your comments, banter and witty repartee:

Caution Flag said...

I'm the 200th follower!! Yay!!

So much truth in today's post. Glad I found your blog via Friday Follow.

I am Harriet said...

Hi There.
I'm looking for your Friday-Follow post.
Have a great day!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Caution Flag - Yay! number 200! Thanks!

I am Harriet - I put the Follow Friday in my "sidebar" which is really down below. Scroll and you will find it.

Traci66 said...

Thank you for following me. I am already following you. Happy Friday

Sara said...

My, how times have changed. You know, or not.

Excellent taste in music though!

I have trouble squeezing my ass into a pencil skirt, but I love to think I would've worn the 50s outfit you described.

Noelle said...

What I love about this post is how obviously invested you are in your son's life...I don't think there's enough of that!!!

Lisa Page Rosenberg said...

Right on.
I adore you ad all of your "irrational demands."

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

Excellent and Perfectly described. I still have blister scars from those Candies slides!

Linda Medrano said...

Your life sounds a lot like mine! I was in SF and you were on the other side or we would have been best friends. Funny, Mom adored Elvis after I stopped thinking he was cool! She and her sister even visited Graceland! LOL!

Beth Zimmerman said...

I have NO idea how many comments I am going to have to make before I make it through this post. Saw your comment on Noelle's blog (Because Nice Matters) and was intrigued by your name. Laughed out loud when I got here so I clicked follow. And grabbed your button. (Why does that always sound wrong?) Read the first paragraph ... chuckled some more, clicked the link (because I am an idiot - but a very nice one) and laughed again, so I added you to my favorites list and then came here to comment! Now I'm going to go read! ... You're welcome! :)

Beth Zimmerman said...

You were describing life with your teenager in that last one? Just be glad it's an air soft gun. My 20 year old (a really GREAT kid) has a glock and 2 assault rifles ... and a black belt in karate! Come to think of it ... it's a REALLY good thing he's a good kid!

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

Like a dear friend tells me all the time, and it is true...... only the names change.

Eternally Distracted said...

Who'd have known that Elvis would have flaming hot sexuality... it's a wonder my wee Granny doesn't have a heart attack with what goes on nowadays!

Kimberly said...

I learned in Latin

"There is nothing new under the sun, it has all been done before."

I can't remember all of it in Latin, and it is late!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Traci66 - Thanks!

Sara - yeah, the pencil skirt is a classic look. I'd have rocked it circa 1955 too.

Noelle - Thanks!

LPR - Thanks. In 10 years, your irrational demand will be that Bob teleport home in time for dinner.

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded - OMG, there was a time when we just lived in those shoes. We wore them so much that the heels would wear down.

Beth - I love that you tried to click on that first link. Classic! Thank you so much for the follow.

Midwestern Mama Holly - Yup, teenagers are the same everywhere.

Eternally Distracted - At the time he was actually considered "obscene" due to his gyrating hips. They would only film him from the waist up.

Kimbery - It's true in any language

Wendi said...

Love this--great concept. And you are a fabulous mom.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Wendi - Mega thanks!

Amy said...

I appreciate your PO very much the picture with the article. Continues to refuel!!

Katie's Dailies said...

This takes me back a few years! I think the '70's had the best music--after Elvis, of course!

somebody said...


The Empress said...

Just got back from vacation.

This is a very unique and entertaining take on the teenage series.

I like it. A lot.

GOod to be back among all this awesomeness.

Here's to it rubbing off on me, please...

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Empress - You don't need my help being awesome! However, "Somebody" who posted above you, needs all the help they can get. Stick close Somebody, maybe you'll learn something.

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