Monday, June 28, 2010

A Post It-less Post it Note Tuesday

Dear Daughter;

I am in a bit of a parental pickle and here's why - As your mother, I am supposed to be an example of good taste and good behavior. One of my primary responsiblilities is to teach you to be a fine and upstanding young lady , to make sure that you know right from wrong and use excellent manners in all social situations.

And while it is understood that instilling these attributes is a large part of my motherly job description, I admit that sometimes I fall a little short. Take yesterday for example, I found it impossible to respond in a mature manner and tell you that what you did was not necessarily the right or most lady-like thing to do. It was my job to explain to you that what you did was sort of juvenile and a little disgusting and probably a tad disrespectful to the other people that you share this house with.

The problem is, when you do something like this, I end up laughing so hard that I can't speak or breathe long enough to form the words to correct you. And when your father is the first to find your handiwork, well, that puts the last nail in my measly maturity and I literally roll on the floor in laughter (honestly, I thought that was just an expression until yesterday, but no, it's real).

I am considering hiring a maturity surrogate for moments like these. What's that expression? The first step in solving a problems is admitting that you have a problem. Well, allow me to introduce myself - "My name is DG and I am a Bathroom Humor-aholic."




Please don't faint, it's only paper mache.



33 Your comments, banter and witty repartee:

Sarah Lindahl said...

I love her!

The Empress said...

No!!! She is NOT that funny, already? Is she really?

Oh, how awesome...

SurferWife said...

She is amazing. I have said it before and I will say it again. She is amazing. Please tell her I said so.

singedwingangel said...

Roflmbo HA HAH AH oh to be a fly on the wall when papa found that. PRICELESS

linlah said...

The apple does not fall far from the tree, you taught her well.

Eternally Distracted said...

I think it would be very difficult not to laugh... unless I was on the receiving end of course!!

Sounds like you two have a fab relationship

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Sarah - I am so thankful that she goes to camp four days a week or she'd be sitting around brewing up new ways to get the better of her family.

Empress - A few minutes of the internet in her hands and there you have it. . .

Surferwife - Really? Perhaps you need a few days, nah, weeks with her. Let's exchange, you send me the adorable blond diva and I will send you my 11 year old. Lock up your blog though, or she might put out a fake celeb encounter with J Biebs, and nobody under 12 wants that.

Singed Winged Angel - It was an amazing payoff to an already funny joke to have the hubs find it. Priceless,indeed.

Linlah - The worst of it is that I can see my own DNA at work and I know that it will likely get worse before it gets better. Hopefully there won't be any police involvement.

Eternally Distracted - She is pretty funny, I have to say.

Dual Mom said...

That is beyond awesome!!!

Bossy Betty said...

Oh, I would have loved to have seen Dad's face!!

Aria said...

My favorite is "peals of laughter".

I'm pealing now; which is what it sounds like when Filipino's try to sing Feelings in English.

I have pealings for you DG!

blueviolet said...

o.m.g. I'm positively dying with laughter over here. That is sheer brilliance. That is so brilliant, in fact, that it falls outside the parameter of normal social etiquette and must be embraced.

foxy said...

Hahahahahaha... I love it! Potty humor is RIGHT up my alley. :)

Noelle said...

I think I love your daughter...

And I would have laughed too!

Arizona Mamma said...

A girl after my own heart. Only, there was a day when I would have used the real deal in order to torture my brother.

MiMi said...

That is....AWESOME!!
I love love LOVE potty humor!!
Off to make a paper mache turd now!

Linda Medrano said...

OMG! She is hysterical! This girl has a future!

Aging Mommy said...

I would be laughing too, and bravo to your daughter for using her imagination so creatively!

3LittleMonkeys said...

HAHAHA....i guess all you can do is laugh at that one!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Bossy Betty - He was totally fooled at first.

Aria - There were peals of laughter coming from me, for sure.

Blue Violet - I'll buy that. It definitely gets me off the hook.

Foxy - I know, potty humor is the best.

Noelle - She's a piece of work.

Arizona Mama - You are a hard core prankster!

Mimi - Let me know how your turd comes out. What didn't sound very good.

Linda - A future in what? Far as I know, Ashton Kutcher isn't making any new "Punked" episodes.

Aging Mommy - Ah, but if she used her creativity for good. (Not sure how, but it sounded good)

3Little Monkeys - And I did!

Kimberly said...

It is funny! What is not to like?

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Kimberly - Indeed it is. It just feels a little weird to be patting your child on the back for making fake poop (which I did anyway, it just felt strange).

Erin said...

Who doesn't laugh at poop? That is fantastic. Please tell her she's very talented.

;-)

Amy said...

We sell a line of greeting cards (Leanin Tree) that seem to have a PhD in bathroom humor. I swear there is an entire line of them. It is now my mission to gather all of these cards as they come in, so that you can distribute them to your family and loved ones on special occasions like birthdays and christenings.

You're welcome;)

Sara said...

Dear God.

That child has a gift... and she's using it for toilet jokes.

Awesome.

Kate said...

She really has an eye, too. Just look how the...craft project picks up the earth tones in the wallpaper.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Erin - Yeah, I guess it's pretty universally loved.

Amy - You always have my best interest at heart!

Sara - I wonder if there is any kind of gifted program for children that excel at poo humor. . .

Kate - She gets her color coordination skills from me. Anything related to poop is from her dad.

Actual Video of the event- said...

There's nothing wrong with this...

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Acutal Video of the Event - Oh yeah, I forgot you took a bite. It's no big deal. :)

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

Kudos to the girl, she is Awesome! I have the same problem with my kids cracking me up.

Beth Zimmerman said...

Oh My Goodness! That's great! And for the record the kid that made me laugh the most is the most well balanced as an adult. Not sure there's a correlation but I wouldn't be surprised!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Mom the perpetually grounded - She certainly thinks so (I do too).

Beth Zimmerman - We'll see. . .

Insanitykim said...

Dude. She is freaking genius. I think she is gonna turn out just perfect! Loved this! I've been on vaca and I am coming back to some seriously funny posts! Yay for meeeeeeee!

Working Mommy said...

Not gonna lie...I think it would have been equally as funny if it was real...matter of fact, I think I'd give extra points for a real one!!!

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