"Are you sure we're related?"
"Did you find him in a garbage can?"
"Can we ship him to China?"
"Can we sell him on E-Bay?"
Post embarrassing video of him peeing his pants when he was 3 on Facebook.
Hack his Facebook page and post about how much he loves Justin Bieber.
Steal his cell phone and send text messages saying godknowswhat to all the girls in his address book.
You want to know what my kids are like? Just look at the two pictures at the top of this post. That's them to a T. Their personalities are so in line with those two that I am thinking of legally changing their names to Ferris and Jeannie. I'm not a mom, I'm an arbitrator, a mediator, the entire UeffingN.
What do you do when your children are Ferris and Jeannie? You change your name. No longer will I be content to hide my identity from you. . . ladies and gentlemen, my name is Kofi Annan.