Monday, July 19, 2010

What Do You Do When Your Brother is Ferris Bueller?

You ask questions like:

"Are you sure we're related?"

"Did you find him in a garbage can?"

"Can we ship him to China?"


"Can we sell him on E-Bay?"




Or you:


Post embarrassing video of him peeing his pants when he was 3 on Facebook.


Hack his Facebook page and post about how much he loves Justin Bieber.


Steal his cell phone and send text messages saying godknowswhat to all the girls in his address book.




You want to know what my kids are like? Just look at the two pictures at the top of this post. That's them to a T. Their personalities are so in line with those two that I am thinking of legally changing their names to Ferris and Jeannie. I'm not a mom, I'm an arbitrator, a mediator, the entire UeffingN.


What do you do when your children are Ferris and Jeannie? You change your name. No longer will I be content to hide my identity from you. . . ladies and gentlemen, my name is Kofi Annan.








29 Your comments, banter and witty repartee:

Sara said...

Well, if your daughter really is Jeannie, you know she could kick an intruder's ass. So that's something, right?

Caution Flag said...

For all the mediating we moms do, one would think we would receive a salary - or at least a cleaner bathroom.

The Empress said...

This post was brilliance. I totally see and hear what is in your house right now.

Excellent...

Eternally Distracted said...

Me and my brother had exactly the same problem... we are 31 and 33 now and I hate to tell you but nothing changes!!

singedwingangel said...

lmbo.. I have only sisters and all my kids are boys.. Which in this case may be a good thing lol

That One Mom said...

Lol, mu kids are equally as different, the roles under thid roof are reversed, however. The Girl is my Ferris.

Mass Hole Mommy said...

Sooo funny, but even though my kids are still young, they are already fitting these characters personalities. And it's my little guy that's Ferris Bueller. Totally.

Lisa Page Rosenberg said...

I love all Buellers.

Linda Medrano said...

By junior high school age, I think they are all like this!

Allyson said...

I bet you kind of look like a Kofi-Annan.

It sounds like your daughter has mastered the art of tormenting. Please tell me your son has retaliated in an appropriate and sufficient way...

Aging Mommy said...

Just brilliant - to read that is, not to actually participate in as chief arbitrator. I am wondering should I be relieved that my daughter has no brother to torment as she gets older or very worried that in failing to produce a sibling for her I am making myself the likely target of her tormenting :-)

Amy said...

Ha, Ha! I think you're duaghter, albeit excruciatingly horrifying to your son, is quite clever in her endeavors to irk him.

Well played mini DG, well played;)

blueviolet said...

Your family sets the bar on practical jokes!

Alyssa said...

What an honor to meet you; Kofi, I had no idea you were so down to earth. Thank you for a wonderful smile!!!!!

Beth Zimmerman said...

Shall we call you Ko' for short? I kinda like it!

linlah said...

So many apples are falling from your tree and they aren't far enough apart to see the grass.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Sara - She has that whole kick 'em in the face with Keds thing down cold.

Caution Flag - If I charged by the hour, they'd have to back the money truck up to my front door.

Empress - Thanks. You see my house? Please excuse the mess that Ferris and Jeannie have made.

Eternally Distracted - Hmmmm. Not giving me hope for the future . . .

Angel - Sibling rivalry is tough no matter what the configuration is.

Eternally Distracted - Your girl has boatloads of charm and gets away with doing nothing? Good for her!

Mass Hole Mommy - These tendencies cropped up early in my kids.

LPR - Agreed. I think the most under rated Bueller is the clueless dad.

Linda Medrano - Good to know that I am not alone.

Allyson - Yes, I wear a men's suit every day. And retaliation is constant.

Aging Mommy - Interesting thought. No guarantee she will be a tormenter at all.

Amy - She has a frightening abiltiy to use her talents for evil.

Blue Violet - I wouldn't wish for anyone to meet their standards.

Alyssa - Yes. Hold on and I'll say something diplomatic . . .

Beth Z - I like "Ko".

Linlah - I think you just implicated me in their genetic tormenting skills. Yeah, well, I guess it wasn't their dad that contributed that part. . .

SurferWife said...

Teach her know that it's one thing to say you have a scorching case of herpes as opposed to actually owning a scorching case of Herpes.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

SurferWife - Words of wisdom indeed.

The Blue Zoo said...

I am constantly being referee.. Some days I just wanna scream!!

peewee said...

oh, I've missed reading your blogs!!! I feel like I have been under a rock with no mad bathroom...and life is very dreary like that!

~J said...

HAHA!! I feel this one!

Bossy Betty said...

Do it! Change their names!!! That will teach them! (Well, the new Ferris anyway.)

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Blue Zoo - I hope you look good in black and white stripes because, until college, this is what we are destined to do.

Pee Wee - Where you been girl? Were you visiting Lindsey in the pokey?

~J - Anyone with a sibling or more than one kid feels this one.

Bossy Betty - My son would probably love it. Anything that puts more attention on him is good.

Arizona Mamma said...

Well, you just summed up my maturity level in a nutshell. As I have hacked my husband's facebook page and wrote something like: His Name "truly adores his wife...he thinks she is the bee's knees." I am dying as I type this, yet he didn't find a single stitch of humor over it. He was so freakin pissed. Didn't change how funny I thought it was.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

AZ Mamma - You know this stuff comes back fifteen fold with the kids. Just wait until they are around 13. Hoo baby!

Erin said...

I am rolling. THis is great, and I've always had a special affinity for that movie. Hopefully my kids will be BFFs. But I'm not too delusional. Trying to be realistic. Sara had a good point about jeannie, though---I want my kids to know how to kick a bad guy's ass!

Truthful Mommy said...

LOL! Love it! I am stopping by from FAWK YOU FRIDAY! Hope you can stop by too!Happy Mothering!
DEbi
http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com/

Lin said...

I have to admit I love their creativity in getting even with each other. Sounds like it's all fair around your house. Crazy, but fair.

Post a Comment

Questions?
Comments?
Sarcastic Remarks?
Write 'em here: