Dashboard Diva Does Italy

The phone rang on the Sunday morning before we were leaving for Italy. I recognized the voice on the other end immediately. It was my old friend Randy Jackson. Seems he had a diva that was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and he needed my help to get her back online.

Here's how the conversation went:

RJ: Dawg! Dawg! Dawg! What's up dawg?

DG: Oh, hey Randy. What's up?

RJ: Girl, I need your help with a friend of mine who's on the brink of a nervous breakdown. She's in rough shape. Worse than I was my first year working with Simon.

DG: Hmmm. Sounds serious.

RJ: Dawg, it's more than serious. She keeps breaking out in spontaneous fits of melisma in the most inappropriate places. The doctor's office, Starbucks, Olivia Newton John's 4th of July barbecue. She really needs to get away.

DG: So what do you want me to do about it?

RJ: You're going away, right?

DG: Randy, no!

RJ: C'mon dawg, she's really small.

DG: I don't care how small she is.

RJ: Nah dawg, you don't understand. I don't mean to say that she's petite. She's truly small. Like she could ride to Italy in your purse.

DG: Randy, no.

RJ: C'mon dawg. I'll owe you.

DG: OK, I'll do it. But you have promise to do me one favor.

RJ: Anything dawg.

DG: You have to make sure that super tool Bret Michaels doesn't get the open judge slot on idol.

RJ: You got it dawg.

DG: And one more thing. . .stop calling me dawg.

RJ: You got it dawg.

(click)

So, as a result of my unfortunate encounter with Randy Jackson, we left our house on late Sunday afternoon, bound for an overnight trip in NYC to shortcut our trip to JFK the next morning with a pocket sized diva in tow. Here are some of her vacation snaps . . .

The Diva chills at the Marriot Marquis, saying her final goodbyes to NY city.

The Diva has her final NY meal at the JFK airport Chili's. (It can't always be sushi at Nobu, diva)

The Diva practices her scales at 36,000 feet.

The Diva likes the fluffy Robes at the Marriot Grand Flora in Rome.

The Diva is no stranger to a bidet.

The Diva has a post-bidet gelato.

Diva really prefers the Caprese salad at Bacco. They use arugula instead of basil leaves.

The Diva makes note of the location of the American Embassy. You never know when she might create an international incident.

Food coma 1.

Food coma 2.

Food coma 3. (we stopped counting after this one)

Diva does Siena. Nothing like a high maintenance gal in a medieval city.

Diva at the top of the Spanish Steps. Must be nice to climb them in someone's pocket.

Diva, LIVE at the colosseum.

Diva in wine jail in a medieval castle.

Dinner at the Castello Trebbio in the hills outside of Florence. (Somebody had a few too many glasses of wine and too few slices of Tuscan bread. Carbs are your friend, Diva. You need to build a base to suck up the alcohol.)

BONUS!!!

This video was in heavy rotation on Italian MTV and was rapidly climbing the charts. It was already a hit in other parts of Europe, but I don't think it has made its way to the states. It's so refreshing to hear a singer that can actually sing without autotune. The song has a cool retro vibe and best yet, the Diva approves!