This Explains Why I'm Like This

As some of you might have guessed from my last post, I grew up in the 70's. From Kindergarten through my early teens, I was a child of the decade. For those of you that are of a similar age group, you know that this means that I survived the decade of cheesy AM top 40, of heinous crimes against fashion and of avocado colored appliances. From the fade out of the hippie to the fade in of disco, my formative years bear the imprint of the 'Me Generation'.


Now don't get me wrong, there were good things about the 70's, but for the most part, they are hazed over by the faint and jumbled memories of bad Barbara Streisand movies and episodes of the Partridge Family.

Here are some of the more horrifying things that I survived. It's nothing short of a miracle that I am not walking around in polyester gauchos with marshmallow shoes, incoherently babbling lyrics to Allman Brother's songs. Somehow I made it out with my dignity in tact.

BAD

Rex Smith

More feathered than Big Bird.

http://ilike.myspacecdn.com/play#Rex+Smith:You+Take+My+Breath+Away:146629:s43493267.11352281.14087167.0.2.92%2Cstd_fee7e27c83e340f6a70d31922b51df99

Astronaut Food

To taste this was to truly appreciate the sacrifice that the astronauts made for this country. Kind of like a mixture of hamster shavings and condensed milk.

Tang

Again, hats off to the astronauts. Another sacrifice in the name of progress.

People That Got Their Rocks Off By Squeezing TP

Ewwww. Mr. Whipple was a kinda pervy

Polyester clothing

How did the species not fall off the planet as of 1976? Who would want to sleep with these guys? They look like the Festrunk Brothers.

One hit wonders a-plenty

How Much I Feel by Ambrosia @ Yahoo! Video

OK, I'm not gonna lie, I kinda dig that song. It was played so much in the 1970's that I'm pretty sure you could find traces of it in my DNA. And there were so many more like it. Every time you turned on the radio, it was like spinning the giant wheel of musical cheese.

Andy Gibb

Again, in the interest of full disclosure, I had a little thing for him in my early teens. It was brief and it only took a couple of listens to something more substantial for me to realize what a lightweight, pansy-ass tune this was. Still, it is hooky as hell. . .

GOOD


The birth of SNL

The birth of Punk

Sadly, these guys didn't come into my consciousness until about 1979, when my boyfriend opened my eyes to a whole new world of music. It was at this point that I waved goodbye to the top 20 and hello to the The Clash, The Ramones and The Sex Pistols.

The Cars first three albums

OK, the third one was from 1980, but in my opinion, they are the three best albums that this band had to offer and the musical dividing line between love and like. This band also provided my first teen crush on a band guy. Oh the years I spent pining over Ben Orr. But, how do you not? I mean, really.

The Bob Newhart Show

No, not that dorky Bed and Breakfast show with the three guys with the same name. The original Newhart show. The one that the dorky show had to call back to in order to make the greatest show ending in television history. The one with Roger, from I Dream of Jeanie. The one that has its own drinking game.

The Odd Couple

Hard to believe that this show was run off the air because people couldn't believe that two men could live together for this long and not be gay. OK, Felix was kind of a queen, but so what? They had perfect comedic chemistry. Imagine if we applied that same twisted logic to Friends - they really all hang out together every day because they're into group sex! So stupid.


This little walk down memory lane was sponsored by the most disgusting food of the 1970s:

Ta-ca-ta-ca-Taco Bell. It spells diarrhea in any decade!

PS - for Noelle and any of you other youngsters that have to ask what Marshmallow shoes were - the shape of the heel and sole was sort of like the shoe below, but it was a closed shoe style and the heel was made of springy white rubber (which looked like a marshmallow). If you didn't have Marshmallow Shoes in 1976, then you just weren't cool. The cork platforms below? Also very cool. As were platform Buffalo Sandals and wood platforms, but you are going to have to Google those yourself. All this walking down memory lane has me exhausted.