Friday, September 24, 2010

This Explains Why I'm Like This

As some of you might have guessed from my last post, I grew up in the 70's. From Kindergarten through my early teens, I was a child of the decade. For those of you that are of a similar age group, you know that this means that I survived the decade of cheesy AM top 40, of heinous crimes against fashion and of avocado colored appliances. From the fade out of the hippie to the fade in of disco, my formative years bear the imprint of the 'Me Generation'.

Now don't get me wrong, there were good things about the 70's, but for the most part, they are hazed over by the faint and jumbled memories of bad Barbara Streisand movies and episodes of the Partridge Family.

Here are some of the more horrifying things that I survived. It's nothing short of a miracle that I am not walking around in polyester gauchos with marshmallow shoes, incoherently babbling lyrics to Allman Brother's songs. Somehow I made it out with my dignity in tact.


Rex Smith

Astronaut Food

To taste this was to truly appreciate the sacrifice that the astronauts made for this country. Kind of like a mixture of hamster shavings and condensed milk.


Again, hats off to the astronauts. Another sacrifice in the name of progress.
People That Got Their Rocks Off By Squeezing TP

Ewwww. Mr. Whipple was a kinda pervy

Polyester clothing
How did the species not fall off the planet as of 1976? Who would want to sleep with these guys? They look like the Festrunk Brothers.

One hit wonders a-plenty

How Much I Feel by Ambrosia @ Yahoo! Video

OK, I'm not gonna lie, I kinda dig that song. It was played so much in the 1970's that I'm pretty sure you could find traces of it in my DNA. And there were so many more like it. Every time you turned on the radio, it was like spinning the giant wheel of musical cheese.

Andy Gibb

Again, in the interest of full disclosure, I had a little thing for him in my early teens. It was brief and it only took a couple of listens to something more substantial for me to realize what a lightweight, candy-ass tune this was. Still, it is hooky as hell. . .


The birth of SNL

The birth of Punk
Sadly, these guys didn't come into my consciousness until about 1979, when my boyfriend opened my eyes to a whole new world of music. It was at this point that I waved goodbye to the top 20 and hello to the The Clash, The Ramones and The Sex Pistols.

The Cars first three albums

OK, the third one was from 1980, but in my opinion, they are the three best albums that this band had to offer and the musical dividing line between love and like. This band also provided my first teen crush on a band guy. Oh the years I spent pining over Ben Orr. But, how do you not? I mean, really.

The Bob Newhart Show

No, not that dorky Bed and Breakfast show with the three guys with the same name. The original Newhart show. The one that the dorky show had to call back to in order to make the greatest show ending in television history. The one with Roger, from I Dream of Jeanie. The one that has its own drinking game.

The Odd Couple

Hard to believe that this show was run off the air because people couldn't believe that two men could live together for this long and not be gay. OK, Felix was kind of a queen, but so what? They had perfect comedic chemistry. Imagine if we applied that same twisted logic to Friends - they really all hang out together every day because they're into group sex! So stupid.

This little walk down memory lane was sponsored by the most disgusting food of the 1970s:
Ta-ca-ta-ca-Taco Bell. It spells diarrhea in any decade!

PS - for Noelle and any of you other youngsters that have to ask what Marshmallow shoes were - the shape of the heel and sole was sort of like the shoe below, but it was a closed shoe style and the heel was made of springy white rubber (which looked like a marshmallow). If you didn't have Marshmallow Shoes in 1976, then you just weren't cool. The cork platforms below? Also very cool. As were platform Buffalo Sandals and wood platforms, but you are going to have to Google those yourself. All this walking down memory lane has me exhausted.

25 Your comments, banter and witty repartee:

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

OMG! I forgot all about Rex Smith..and I said I meant Forever.
Thanks for the stroll. This was a fun one! I am still listening to the Cars and I still have a crush on Rick Ocasek. Damn Paulina, ruining my chances.

Noelle said...

Sorry but I have to ask:what are marshmallow shoes?

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded - Wasn't old Rexie the worst?

Noelle - See bottom of post. I have added a pair of shoes that will give you a basic idea.

Linda Medrano said...

I still have those shoes. Are you telling me they are out of style now?

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Linda - No way girl! A good cork platform is timeless.

Insanitykim said...

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait a minute...

Rex Smith is David Lee Roth, before the sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll took hold. I just know it. much do I love that song? A ton! That's how much...that's how much...that's how muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch, that's how much!!!

Andy Gibb...shadow dancin'...the one time I wasn't scared of shadows.

Bob Newhart. Awesome.

Cork platform shoes? Great place to keep your keys.

Awesome post, thanks for taking me back!

Carol said...

I loved Andy Gibb. I was heartbroken when he didn't love me back and now, here you are bringing up the pain! LOL thanks for the trip down memory lane, I would tell you that I remember all of these things but then I'd have to stop telling my daughter I'm 27.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Insanity Kim - Nah girl, you're clearly too young to remember ANY of this.

Carol - Come sit with me (pats sofa) I'll keep your secrets locked in the vault.

linlah said...

The best thing to come out of the 70's was SNL, you know those appliance colors are making a comeback.

Sandra said...

Oh I'm such a product of the 70s...the ring tone on my cell is a song by the Dooby Brothers!

Sara said...

The birth of SNL was one of the greatest contributions that came out of the 70s. Between Gilda Radner, Steve Martin and Dan Akroyd, it doesn't get much better.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Linlah - If those appliances are coming back, please don't tell them where I live.

I grew up with Coppertone appliances. When the kitchen was remodeled in the early 80's, they switched to harvest gold. Ick.

Sandra - Better to embrace it than to fight it. It's stronger than all of us.

Sara - Agree 100%.

Lin said...

So, I can't admit that we actually went to see Rex Smith in concert??? Bummer. He took my pre-teen breath away.

Wendi said...

REX! SMITH! I'm sorry, but I can no longer type as I'm in some kind of hormonal flashback that may require oxygen.

Erin said...

Okay, I was a child of the 80s, but I totally dig this post. Going to share it b/c of its awesomeness. I'm diggin' all this nostalgia!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Lin -You are in a safe place. You can even admit to stealing Donny Osmond's sweaty, post-show purple socks out of his dressing room at the Westbury Music Fair. . .uh, nevermind.

Wendi - Are you saying he compares to Manilow?

Erin - I spent many a teen year in the 80's. Any time you want to reminisce about cabbage patch kids, just drop me a line.

Susan Fobes said...

Thanks for the Ambrosia tune-I always loved that song too! And I'm still laughing over Taco Bell-LOL! (Btw, I am a fellow survivor-nice to meet you...)

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Susan - Oh good. Another one got out alive without the polyester gauchos.

MiMi said...

Those freakin' cork shoes are totally coming back, aren't they?
Also, the guy at the top, I srsly thought he was a chick. LOL

foxy said...

Okay, so there's just something about ole Andy Gibb. I kind of still might have a little thing for him. I CAN'T HELP IT.

Man, SNL used to be so dang funny... i long for the good old stuff.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

MiMi - Yeah, he kind of had the same hair-do that I had in 1977.

Foxy - You are not alone. I could definitely find you a couple of members to start an Andy Gibb lovers an\onymous chapter.

Bossy Betty said...

You had me at Rex Smith. I gotta go get some polyester clothes now. The 70's ROCKED baby!

Catherine said...

Thanks for another hilarious walk down memory lane! I would have killed for feathered hair like Rex!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Bossy Betty and Rexie sittin in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Catherine - I know. Mine never feathered right. It looked more like a sausage roll.

Allyson said...

Would it be bitchy of me to say this is all slightly ahead of my time and I truly didn't know what marshmallow shoes were? I could very easily do my own walk down Memory Lane (and may have to do that at some point...really, it kind of does explain who I am). Anyway, I was a fan of the lame Bob Newhart...the one where he owns an inn in Vermont and I'm really glad you attached clips of Tang and astronaut food because I completely missed out on all that. Also? It is sort of a Christmas miracle that you aren't walking around in feathers and cork, pointing your index finger in the air and trying not to break yourself in marshmallow shoes. Congratulations on overcoming it. I would hate to see THAT therapy bill.

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