Friday, November 12, 2010

International Love Letters

We interrupt this regularly scheduled blog posting to bring you this important news from overseas:

年輕氣盛的激情藥'品讓夫妻倆夜夜

性藥品讓夫'妻倆閨房情趣瞬間衝破錶
激妳的陰.核欲仙欲死絕非夢想
讓您持久耐戰-的最佳寶貝

What? You don't read Chinese? 

Are you kidding?

Ok, ok, I'.ll translate. 

Dear Diary,
Why are you so full of the awesome?
When I cook General Tso's Chicken, I am reminded of how not awesome it is, compared to you.
Your skin is like fine porcelain. So fine, in fact, that I can see all your veins. 
Your hair is like rarest amber, with a brown stripe down the middle, 'cause your roots girl? Damn.
Your energy level is so high that you can actually beat the all the Sr Citizens at assisted living center at the pole vault, but only by the very narrowest of margins.  And your kindness can only be bested by the average Mc Donalds employee.

Stay awesome and come to China real soon.

Yours truly,
The Ghost of Chairman Mao

If you think this is hot, you shold read the love letters I get from Nikita Kruschev.  Smokin!

13 Your comments, banter and witty repartee:

Lyndsay said...

Nothing can beat the heat I get from Breshnev ;)

xoxoxo

linlah said...

I think that last part is, Come to Chineese real soon. I always get that part wrong when translating.

The Empress said...

YOU ARE SO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is all, but can you hear what I'm saying? That's why it's all in caps.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Lindsay - back off girl. Breshnev is mine!

Linblah - I know, I know. My translation is not UN caliber. I'll keep working on it.

Empress - Thanks girl. Don't know about you, but I have been getting slammed with chinese spam over the last few weeks. I am either becoming very popular in the Sichuan province or I really need the viagra that they are trying to sell me.

Linda Medrano said...

Everybody gets this cool spam and I get none. What am I doing wrong? I'm so jealous! But then you are pretty darned awesome if I do say so myself.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Linda - Well thanks! I can forward you all of my random chinese spam if you like.

Aunt Peaches said...

Hahahaha!
Thanks for a giggle :)

Lin said...

I actually deal with this daily on my job! We have a huge Chinese population that works for us, so everything I do has to be translated to Spanish AND Chinese. Imagine that I pay to have this when you get it for FREE!! Lucky you.

Susan Fobes said...

Ah, it is a small world after all. (Hmm, for some reason I feel like breaking out and singing that song right now, but I'll spare you and everyone else withing earshot!)

Amy said...

Hilarious! Also? I'm craving some damn Chinese food now!

foxy said...

You make me want to go back and re-read my international love letters. I had no idea! ;)

Sandra said...

Ah you smart women with your big words and your foreign lovers!

Grace said...

I usually bump into some of those Chinese spam, and it makes me laugh whenever I had it translated online.

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