At some point, I'm not sure when, my mother became obsessed with the news and weather. This was a radical departure for her as I did not grow up in a household where I got covered in layers of clothing and was sent out looking like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man as soon as the first cold wind of the season blew. No, we were looser and more free-form than that. I was trusted to coat and glove up as I saw fit and if I was cold, then it was my own damn fault.
However, somewhere around my early 30's, my mother started to obsess over the weather, just in time to question my choices around the way that I suited up my kids to battle the elements. I had gotten a piece of advice from my pediatrician that said "If you're comfortable, they're comfortable", so I followed my own clothing guidelines with them, choosing not to layer then in so many snowsuits, blankets and hats and mittens, that their bucket became a Flavor Wave Oven. I really didn't want to have to Mr T with me everywhere with him saying things like "MMMMMM, that roasting baby smells good. Quit your jibber jabber woman, gimme some of that baby!".
Somewhere around the same time, my mom became obsessed with the news. I couldn't walk into a room without seeing her with her reading glasses perched on her nose, thumbing through the newspaper with CNN blaring in the background. Ultimately, she would try to engage me in discussion about local politics or other current events and I would lapse into my Forrest Gump voice and tell her "Mama, I am not a smart woman, but I know what over saturation of media is.". An then I would scamper off and anesthetize my brain with pop-culture info and other junk food for the brain. I couldn't name all the 9/11 hijackers, but I had a firm grip on the romantic history of Brad Pitt.
I have talked to friends that are around my age and they all say the same thing, once their mothers hit retirement age, they developed an unnatural obsession with Willard Scott and his morning raisin brigade and with all things news. To this, I respond "NEVER!". I am so determined not to have a picture in picture of CNN and MSNBC running simultaneously that I have made a pact with my besties: They are approved to call Kevorkian, as soon as exhibit any combination of two or more of the following:
1) Watch the news and weather obsessively
2) Wear holiday themed sweaters
3) Stuff tissues up my sleeve
4) Wear rubber bands around my wrist
5) Break wind with every step that I take
6) Save wrapping paper from opened gifts (yes, yes, it's green, it's also "grandma")
7) Develop a love-jones for Keith Olberman ,Sean Hannity or Glen Beck (or any other controversial, talking head)
8) Save my bacon grease in a coffee can
Oh, and did someone say Mr . T? Well I pity the fool. . . .