Sunday, December 5, 2010

Parenting Fail or Epic Win? Only the Toilet Knows for Sure.

I walked into the powder room last night and lifted the lid of the bowl to find a note written on a piece of construction paper. It was a strange feeling to see the written word on the toilet and I wondered for a split second whether this was going to be some sort of ransom note for the last roll of toilet paper (a commodity worthy of extortion, to be sure).  But no, a recent purchase of a case of the stuff ensured that this was not about a hostage situation.

The note was written in blue pen on purple paper, a cruel trick to middle aged eyes, to be sure.  I squinted to read it under the light of the bathroom sconces.  This is what it said:

"If you are reading this, you're probably about to go pee or poo.  I honestly don't know about your personal life.  Well, anyways, good luck.  Have fun.

Love and scones,

How did I react?  Well if you guessed that I marched out of the bathroom and gave her a stern warning about people's privacy and whatnot then this is either your first time here or you haven't been paying attention.  I gave her what every comedienne wants; laughter and lots of it.  I am, after all, the person who at the same age, found my father's high school year book and wrote the following:

"Have a great summer.  Eat spam.

Good peace,

I had no idea this stuff was genetic.

22 Your comments, banter and witty repartee:

Sarah Lindahl said...

She is so wonderfully WEIRD! You gotta appreciate a funny kid!

Sara said...

First of all, awesome title.

Second, this is a great idea. I wish someone would leave me notes on the toilet.

And finally, your kids give me hope.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Sarah - Weird indeed. She clearly knows what makes her mother laugh.

Sara - Thanks! Kids can actually be a lot of fun. I rent them out for test drives, so if you want to try before you buy, let me know.

Insanitykim said...

Um, I wish someone would write ME a note before I go to the bathroom, something along the lines of, "this is a temporary hell, you'll make it through, I'd hold your hand if it weren't for the smell. I'm praying for you. Remember to flush twice."

I think I'd feel better. Keep being an awesome mom!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Insanity Kim - what's your address? I've got you covered.

Linda Medrano said...

What an extraordinary daughter you have! I love that quirky sense of humor! Wonder where she gets it, huh?

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Linda - Dunno. Maybe she watches a lot of comedy central ;)

Lin said...

I like your weido kid. :)

Sandra said...

Oh it's genetic all right, and thank goodness for small favours! Life is so much more fun with little people who are just like us!

The Empress said...

thank God It's genetic: so it can be appreciated.

Don't know what to laugh at more, the message or the cruel trick of blue pen on purple paper: you'd have to be my age to know what that's about it.

Wonderful gag.

blueviolet said...

Don't ever let her move out of your house. She is TOO much fun!

foxy said...

That makes me excited to see what my son will bring to the table... ;)

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Lin - thanks. I like her to. The weirder the better.

Sandra - Yeah, we get each other's sense of humor.

Empress - I think I am your age. I squinted a good bit until I finally focused on the text.

Blue Vilolet - I agree, except, it is her life's goal to have college roomates to prank. Many beds to short sheet and all.

Foxy - you know your little guy is going to be an active prankster for sure.

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

I love it. You've got a great kid! And yes, it's absolutely genetic.

Noelle said...

THAT is not a parenting fail!!! I loved this!!!

Amy said...




That is truly hysterical!

SurferWife said...

I love her. Seriously. You have posted about her antics too many times for me NOT to believe that she will be the next Chelsea Handler and she will be the one to send us on our fancy vacation we both deserve.

peewee said...

HAHAHAA!!! I love how it also made no sense whatsoever and yet I want it to be my motto. I feel like it should be an ancient confusious saying or something. I LOVE the "good luck" part. Because seriously, after 35 we NEED IT!

Erin said...

oh wow! now that is creative. gives me an idea for the hubster.

linlah said...

Epic Win, but aren't scones a little binding.

Aunt Juicebox said...

My daughter has proven to me time and time again, that crap is SO genetic. LOL

Susan Fobes said...

Oh yes, it is genetic and it comes back to bite us in the you-know-where every time! LOL!

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