Sunday, February 6, 2011

Not Sure How I Survived the 70's

All of these toys have complete lack of judgement and potential law suit written all over them.  I actually had a couple of them, the others, I coveted heavily.  Did I mention that the first time I shot a (real) pistol, I was 9?  I was also the same age when I first took the controls of a single engine plane.  Driving  a car while sitting on someones lap? Six.  Yes, six years old.

 Is it any wonder I'm a helicopter parent?

I don't think the milk was drinkable. But you KNOW that kids did.

Pretty sure this was just a straight razor in a plastic bird.

Yeah, with that rack, Barbie really needed that float.

There was a pin in the hat.  How do I know? I impaled my finger on it.

The name of this one sounds like something a Vietnamese prostitute would have offered an American soldier in DaNang.

13 Your comments, banter and witty repartee:

blueviolet said...

I actually do remember that milking cow and Ice Bird. Geez, the injuries that must have resulted from that thing!

Cadywax said...

All of these toys could have easily been written for Dan Aykroyd's "Irwin Mainway" character on SNL, along with "Bag-O-Glass."

I especially like the Ice Bird commercial's reference to the five "flavor" packets that are included. A more honest representation would have been to say, "five packets of carcinogenic dye included."

Lin said...

I somehow remember the song to Milky the Cow, but I don't remember the commercial.

Love Barbie's pool. A party in there??! Really? Only Barbie fits....and just barely.

Bing Bang Boing looks like engineers had to set it up to work. Why do I think there were many marbles lost in the homes of that game?

~ Lyndsay The Kitchen Witch said...

Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! No wonder so many of us have issues. I'm going to see if there's a Hugo man of a Thousand faces commercial. I coveted that toy.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Blue Violet - More shaved knuckles than a cheese grater, I'd imagine.

CadyWax - Like a river of icy, red dye number five.

Lin - Oh how I wanted Milky. Thank goodness my mother had the presence of mind to say no. She knew that I wanted to drink that fake milk.


peewee said...

OMG. That last one looks so complicated it gave me a headache!

That milking cow is CRAZY...I never even knew about this toy!!!!!! And Ice Bird!!! I always wanted one. And a snoopy snow cone machine.

What I love is that kids today would see ice bird as a huge pain in the ass cuz they have to WORK at it. And also, where does one get a GIANT BLOCK OF ICE??

The Empress said...

What a great idea for a post!

And how'd you find the videos??

And how'd you remember?

And do you know how jealous I am of this post?

I can't copy it b/c that would be stealing, but I love this post.

Life As I Know It said...

It's amazing how we all survived.

I remember riding in the front seat of the station wagon balled up on the floor of the passenger seat when I was about 5. So fun and no seat belts!

Bossy Betty said...

Oh yeah. We made it through that decade--but, really, I am not sure how!

Makes we want to go play with the mercury from the broken thermometer--one of my favorite activities as a child.

Karen at French Skinny said...

Wow! I can't get the look of horror off my face from the fake milk!!!!

Awesome post!

Linda Medrano said...

Oh girl, you lived through it. So did my kids! Those ads are hysterical!

LiBBy said...

My parents were abusive so we really didnt get toys...other than the Ice Bird which Im still using to this day for frozen margaritas and those really hard to remove nipple hairs. The Milking Cow is an OEDIPUS COMPLEX overstatement!!!!! You are definitely right about Barbie...she will never float face down. The remaining two are basically marble in "What would you kids like for Christmas ? A bag of marbles...a doll made from pappy's old long johns or one of those stick & rolling hoop things?". Crap this post makes me feel old and rotten.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Libby - You aren't old and rotten. Or if you are, at least you're not alone.

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