Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Beautiful Day

"It's going to be gorgeous out there today.  It's a perfect day to play hookey and go to the beach."  Those were the words of the nerdy weather man this morning.  He was talking about how the temperature and the humidity would both be in check today; which is something of a mythical unicorn during a Long Island summer.  You want to believe that it's real, but you can't until it flies over you and poops glitter on your head. Well today, it's raining glitter.

Days like these are the kind of day that I wish I gave a shit about communing with nature, but the bottom line is I have never been what you'd call outdoorsy.  My skin is a shade of white that makes milk look tan and it is sensitive to the elements in the extreme.  If I am not covered from stem to stern with SPF 50 a jihad between sunburn and freckles will break out on my skin and won't stop until I retreat into the nearest cave.  Maybe that's what Bin Laden was doing with all that early cave-dwelling,  he was recovering from a wicked sunburn. They might have caught him sooner if they followed the sunblock and aloe trail that he must have left. I am clearly a geopolitical/dermatological genius for figuring that one out.  Anyway...

Let's face it, geeks and losers are the only people that are going to risk West Nile Virus and use this gorgeous weather for something abhorrent like "going to the beach" or "gardening" or "riding a bike". Weather like this can only result in one activity - outlet shopping. This may be the only day of the summer where shopping at an outdoor outlet complex can be tolerated.  I miss many a great bargain on purses and shoes due to my rabid distaste for heat and humidity.  I think it's time to grab the sunscreen, sunglasses, hat, umbrella, hand held personal fan and comfortable shoes and get my shop on.

So, armed with a rainbow colored array of credit and debit cards, I will brave the elements today at lunch time and hit up the outlets. Lucky for me, they are right around the block from work.  It's probably safe to assume that I'll be back a little late from lunch.  However, if I am not back by dinner, check the nearest cave.



5 Your comments, banter and witty repartee:

Lin said...

Call me a geek and a loser...I'd ditch it all for a day at the pool. It's been a weird summer here--hot one day, cold the next. I gotta tan up all this cellulite.

Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Lin - You know I meant geek and loser ironically? The real geek and loser is the one who chooses shopping on a beautiful day. You got that right? Lin? Lin? Where you goin? OK girl, see u at the pool.

Anonymous said...

There is one person in the world that is bitterly conflicted by this debate between the pleasures of nature vs the comforts of indoor venues.

Who is that person you ask?

Tan Mom

- BW

Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

BW - She is also conflicted about visiting the leather market in Florence as she might be skinned and made into a wallet.

Anonymous said...

I recently bought a pair of "TM" Branded leather shoes. I thought it stood for "Thom. McCann", but now you are making me rethink those initials!

-BW

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