Saturday, September 21, 2013


It's been three months now since the alien invaded the peaceful environs of our home.  Ok, ok, you've been reading and you know that it isn't all that peaceful, but still, by comparison, our life before Buzz was practically museum-like.

Clearly, the family member most greatly impacted by the arrival of our little room trashing, counter jumping, food stealing friend is Spike the Hotness Monster.  Spike was relegated to the outdoors when The Buzzer initially came to roost, as he was lacking the immunity necessary to fight off whatever jungle rot the Hotness was carrying from his many dalliances out of doors.   Not that The Hotness cared, it was summer and he was on the prowl for babes, rodents and uncovered trash cans.  But we felt bad, in that humans projecting actual feelings on an animal kind of way.

Once the cooling off period was over and necessary immunizations administered, Spike returned to the inner spaces of our domicile with his usual lack of interest and disdain for everyone (more projection).  He sauntered into the house and met the little turd-stealer head on, without much more than a squinted eye.  Buzz was exuberant and took to some excited ass and ear sniffing, along with a cheek nuzzle and a failed attempt to mount.  Spike took it all in stride and eventually made his way to his food bowl, where he let out an exasperated mew and waited patiently for me to bestow grub and water upon him.

As Spike continues to sell the hipper-than-thou cattitude, it is clear that he is getting up there in years.  He may have taken the pup in stride, but he has also taken to more indoor naps, more frequent trips to the water bowl and pooping in the mulch by the front door.  For the first 13 years of his life, I never knew that he went to the bathroom at all, no less witnessed the process.  Now, he has taken to digging his outhouse by the mums in full view of everyone in the neighborhood.  I guess old age, like childbirth, does rob one of both dignity and giving a damn.  Even though I find it gross, I will probably not try to stop him. I mean, what's an occasional bag of mulch versus the happiness of such a cool and charming feline?  Spike is the cool kid in the class that everyone wanted to be friends with, but only a select few were successful in doing so.  And that's not projection, that's a fact (evidence below).

4 Your comments, banter and witty repartee:

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

Scratch his sweet Hot head for me will you? I've got a 14 year old possible relative of his creaking slowly around the house myself : )

Wonder if they got their ears done at the same place ; )

Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

MOTPG - Yeah, he got the raggedy ear in a dust-up over some Friskies with a neighbor cat. It's the only thing that's kept his hotness out of commercials.

Lin said...

The Hotness is....well...HOT! (and in the best sense of the word) I love his raggedy tuff-guy ear and the fact that he craps right outside your front door. He's got that devil-may-care attitude and swagger. I'm guessing their are Hotness kittens all over the 'hood!

Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Lin - Yeah, every eccentricity is endearing some how. Again, cool kid.

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