I was going through my Blogroll this morning and I realized that it has become something of a memorial to former bloggers. I myself was part of that list of dead soldiers, when I took a break from blogging back in the beginning of 2012. I have since come back to a town that feels deserted. Part of the reason for that might be the fact that about 80% of the blogs I read and that occasionally read me, are gone. In many cases, these bloggers haven't posted in the last 2-4 years. It's kind of sad.
There is no judgement in this commentary. I understand as well or maybe better than most that there are times in your life when the thought of getting on and reading and writing blog posts seems like a daunting and obligatory chore, or where life has become too busy/ overwhelming/difficult to channel your thoughts into a post that wouldn't make your readers want to jump off a bridge. Believe me, I get it.
So now I am faced with a decision around how I proceed with my own blog. For the most part, my blog community is more deserted than a first run Paulie Shore movie and as I shuffle through the ashes of a bloggy nuclear winter, I am forced to think about how I can build a new community. I am also considering the fact that maybe I am my blogging community. In many ways, I write for myself. Not meaning to sound selfish, but sometimes writing feels like an itch that needs to be scratched and the process of getting it out is satisfaction enough. Do I enjoy it when people read it and comment? Absolutely. There is no better feeling than the feeling that you started a dialogue about something, even if it is around the most trivial of topics. But even when the readers are meager, I still write.
The net message to myself I suppose, is write on. Write like no one's reading. Write without a filter. Write like a woman with an elderly cat that is too hip for the room and needs someone to extol his virtues while he still walks this earth. It doesn't have to be scintillating material, it just needs to satisfy my biggest reader - me. And maybe if I build the blog, they will come...And maybe they won't...And that's OK.