Friday, November 22, 2013

The Tale of the Fairy Princess and The Mountain Cootie Monster

Welcome me that is.  I am admittedly somewhat ashamed of the date of my last post and the paucity of my visits to everyone else's.  But I am battling back the guilt on this one because that pressure to post and read was what put a pin in my last blogging effort and I made a vow to go easy on myself going forward.  Let it be stated (mostly to me, again), that I will post when I can, read when I can, and that's ok.  Wow, that last sentence came out sounding way more like Stuart Smalley than I would have liked.

[Inquisitive, child-like voice in my head] So, if not here in blog land, then where Diary?  Where have you been?

[Commanding, inappropriately confident voice (also in my head)]
Oh, I am happy to share my recent whereabouts with you.

[Soft, bedtime storyteller voice in my head that I have ironically, never used with my children] 
Once upon a time, in a land called Pennsylvania, a group of girlfriends got together for a long weekend at a cabin.  They spent four wonderful days together, talking, laughing, shopping, eating and drinking.  Their cozy little cabin was exactly their idea of a weekend of "roughing it" in the woods - including: WIFI, 2 bathrooms, washer dryer, cable and other, folksy, homespun touches like a fridge full of vodka and wine.

One day, they decided to venture out to the local Walmart to stock up on essentials items like deer feed and chocolate bars.  While combing the aisles for their goods, our redheaded heroine was blasted with a huge dose of mountain cooties, deposited by stealthy, unusually dressed characters from the People of Walmart website.  Our redheaded heroine was not aware of her dosing of cooties until she returned home to work.

Later that week, she found herself consumed with pain when she attempted to swallow as it felt as if there was a grapefruit lodged in her gullet, leaching acidic juices and preventing enjoyment of food and drink.  It soon became abundantly clear that a trip to the local doctor was in order.  Her doctor, being of a somewhat sadistic bent, gagged our heroine with a Q-Tip and pronounced that she had indeed been caught in the clutches of the mighty mountain strep.  A diagnosis not seen since her own grade school days. 

ZPack to the rescue!  Which is where we find our heroine today, on day five of a five day Zpak.  Feeling much better, festering grapefruit dispatched and back in blogging shape.

So, what have we learned other than the fact that there are an abundance of voices in my head? I think there may be a few lessons baked in - 
1) Walmart is a festering pot of disease and filth and should be avoided at all costs.
2) Strep throat sucks monkey wang.
3) A long weekend with your best girlies is worth risking a bad dose of mountain cooties, as it is healing and soul-satisfying, long after the strep monster is wrestled into submission.

Of course, there's always these little disease spreaders to consider.  But, they are so cute, you can forgive them their pox-ishness.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Walk this Way

When we made the decision to bring home the adorable little black white and brown pup from the shelter (seen below), we knew only a few things about him:

1) He was rescued from Georgia with his 10 brothers and sisters and his mom.
2) He was born on March 28th.
3) His mom was a hound mix.
4) He came from a neighborhood known to have a high number of back yard breeders of Great Danes.

As time went on, the size of his paws, his markings and his head shape indicated that there was definitely something bigger than a hound brewing inside the DNA of our new little friend.  Day by day we would search his face, study his long, muscular legs and make a mental note of his lanky and athletic build.

Finally, after five months of daily study my husband had the a-ha moment that led us to understand the genetic lineage that produced this long legged force of nature -

Maybe he was born at Skywalker Ranch in California and not in a back yard in Georgia,

 I can't take credit for the photoshop effort here. This was all my husband's doing.  Nice work, right?